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- 18 Terrible, No-Good, Very Bad Reasons to Date that Guy (or Gal)
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- 18 Terrible, No-Good, Very Bad Reasons to Date that Guy (or Gal)
We were high school sophomores back then, and now we are seniors and have been broken up for almost two months. Posted by asreim on April 11, at The only reason to date is to lead to marriage. At 16, guys asked me out and I really wanted to say yes, but time and again I doubted if I was ready yet. Now I have so say that waiting was the best decision ever. My motto was always this: Posted by hannahbananabear on April 11, at This really helped me, cause I keep getting discouraged since majority of my friends are married or getting married and I feel like the odd one out.
Posted by makenzieburke on April 11, at I concur this post! And everything has resolved itself out. I think that waiting till you are 18 is good starting age and allows you to almost complete or fully complete high school and brings in to a certain maturity. And when you date, Christ should I think be the center of your relationship, because when He is, it changes the dynamics of the relationship entirely. Posted by speaklife5 on April 11, at It took me too long to come to this realization that I had been dating for all the wrong reasons. Being not even 18 yet I thought I had nothing to worry about, that I was just dating for fun.
After a year, he started abusing me. Like it's not hard enough being single but then add having to deal with rejection after rejection by complete strangers! I'm not saying that love and serious relationships can never happen online, what I am saying is that your chances are slim, whether you are male or female. For all my bad experiences and friend's bad experiences, I do know one or two cases where it did work out all sunshine and roses.
People win the lottery, don't they? So there you go. Go forth and profile all you want, wink to your heart's content but please , do not dismiss the old fashioned way of getting to know someone at the office, school, local watering hole—you get it. You don't have to give up, but just be aware that people online may not always be who they say they are, or want the same things as you. I have a friend who wants me to date him, but I don't have feelings for him. He can't even help me with money because he wants me to be his girlfriend first.
What should I do? If you need money, perhaps you should look for a second job or find another means of making extra money. Dating a guy for money when you don't have feelings for him doesn't usually work out well in the long run. Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites. Met a guy online. Seemed great until he asked me for 13K a month later. I said no and never heard from him again. Originally claimed to be a wealthy European man. It was my one and only time internet dating.
Well with the kind of women we have out there nowadays certainly tells the whole true story unfortunately. I would never use a online dating site because I don't like them and social media either I would meet someone in real life because I met this girl who always smiled at me and liked me so it's much better than online with bs. I don't know how the hell i can date in person. Whenever I've felt and been lonely, I've always wanted to cry because I had no company.
And I've tried to date girls in person and online and they just think I'm too ugly, stupid, and annoying and which has made me cry. I never had been so sad in my life as much as I have just because of me not having company from someone that i would love. And I'm such a nice, sweet, and loving little guy and nobody thinks that I'm that because they don't see me like a nice, caring, and loving young man and it just makes me cry just to be treated like garbage by someone that says they love me but doesn't act or show like they do.
I've been lonely all of my life and I've been crying because of it and I absolutely hate crying from being lonely. Our photos are ours and our favorite photos are not to be messed with, no matter what the prejudice of the CEO. If they are not entirely clear they are still OUR PROPERTY and in my case I always find it hard to get a good photo of myself but finally I got a beautiful selfie and tried to open a new Dating Site account only to have the beautiful pic "flagged" by the administration, and undoubtedly because they were operating on the model created by bad people trying to fool other people It is really nobody else's business.
If there is a chance it is based on fraud it is simple enough to get someone verified in a respectful way. But I guess dating is only about consumption and never humanity OR respect. But then again dating IS discrimination on steroids. They had many complaints already. I will say, though, that it is quite slanted towards a woman's perspective. I totally understand why a woman might be offended if a guy decides within the first few seconds of meeting her whether he finds her attractive or not From experience, I know that if I see a woman or man and I'm not immediately physically attracted to that person, then I probably never will be.
For most guys, I think it's the same as well. Physical attraction doesn't tend to "grow" on us the way it might for women. Subconsciously, my brain is immediately asking itself, "Could I ever conceivably have sex with this person? There is nothing a person can do or say that will ever make me attracted to them physically if I don't find their appearance attractive.
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Now, there's more to a connection than physical attraction, but that's an essential part! If it's not there, then I could still be friends with the person if our personalities seemed to click, so I would never run away from such a situation. The problem is that people go into online dating and dating in general with an agenda. Usually they are either trying to secure sex "let's have fun! In other words, most people go into it wanting something from you.
That's why, overall, I agree with you. Online dating kind of sucks! It's much easier to just have a circle of friends and let them naturally filter the prospects that come through. I have signed up on some dating sites just in the last few months and the have screw me out of about 3 hundred and fifty dollars being promised they would hook me up with lady's and I'd have all kinds of hookups but it's been a scam they took my money and left me hanging I still have two sites that STOle 80 dollars on the third of this month I called my card holder and I was suppose to have got it back but I think they are fucking me too what do I do.
I drove across town, waited at the restaurant where I had made reservations. We met had a nice meal a few drinks , after we took a walk around and talked some more. At the end of the evening she said that she had a nice time and kissed me then said she wasn't really ready to date.
When i was searching some why you shouldn't this one helped me a lot, the Answer is: It is the owner. I fell for a girl that was riddled with baggage from her childhood, divorce, etc.. It may be shallow, but I know what I like and what I feel will never amount to anything. Online dating also ruins otherwise decent women, I believe. Women who normally would be quite modest and grounded with their value in a relationship have their egos so overinflated because of the sheer amount of messages they receive.
I agree wholeheartedly, I am middle aged, petite, blonde Bob, well educated and keep fit regular gym user size I managed to make it to a couple of dates but most middle aged men are looking for women with crane legs and Rapunzel hair. I have been happy in my own skin and can make turn heads when I am out and about but when "online dating" people seem to chase a dream that doesn't exist. Middle aged Men in general run on the wings of hopes that they can still pull a glamour model just because they are financially secure but nothing special about them. The connection online is so shallow mainly small talk - I would rather grab a book.
The author of this article is spot on in my opinion. I am a plus sized woman and was always been honest about that. I even joined sites particularly for curvy people and guess what!? When they hear that most head for the hills. The bottom line, online dating is not for me. Good luck in your search people. It was actually 10 years ago or so that I last used an online dating site and I have been married 7 years.
I have 4 kids with hubby and I was a single mother when I met him. I had a lot of fun reminiscing about past dating experiences, despite my tone, lol. If we are to take her at her word, the author last used an online dating service "about 8 years ago," and is now married with 5 kids. So, assuming she met someone right away and they got married right away which is highly unusual , she had 5 kids in a period of 8 years.
Not impossible, of course, but highly unusual. Additionally, assuming all that, she still somehow spends an inordinate amount of time with her "hubs," as evidenced by this somewhat angry retort to what she perceived to be -perhaps correctly so - a condescending post:. Even if we take the - married and 5 kids in an 8-year span or less immediately after stopping online dating - at face value, one is left wondering how many happily married woman with children 5, no less would be devoting this much of their time to online "hubs.
For older people the dating sphere is frought with perils, especially online dating, and yet still the best of the worst options for many. To this day i have been on few dates simply because the sheer disgust with the whole approach and is akin to diving head first into a buzzsaw. The only thing that works in terms of protecting and advocating for yourself is being straight-up on who you are.
I should write my own blog about it. First line, I read your profile and we have a lot in common. So tell me about yourself, what do you do for fun, Really? Can't plan a date but they are extremely romantic. Heck, can't even manage a meet for coffee. Second date should be sexual, huh? And it goes on Back in the ancient times before the time of the internet there was something even worse. Telephone dating companies you would pay them for the opportunity log into their own separate phone system for women it was free of course and check out profiles.
It seems that with with every improvement in technology simply highlights the utter shallowness of people. I actually consider myself to be lucky. With all these online dating problems I can see why it's such A pain In the ass to find a relationship. I use to go on pof and I thought I was going to be on there forever until weeks later I found an interesting profile. I decided to message him.
18 Terrible, No-Good, Very Bad Reasons to Date that Guy (or Gal)
I know it sounds risky but I gave it a shot even people with pictures still lie so doesn't make much of a difference. Anyways he replied back to me we stayed on pof chatting for a few days until we exchanged emails. Than we started talking on the phone and we met up a week later. I knew it was going to be good. I even deleted my account because I felt the chemistry on the phone when we talked and I knew he was the one. It was just something i felt. Well let's just say he was handsome as hell.
He told me he didn't have a profile pic because he wanted to weed out the people that only cared about looks. Ever since then we have been in a relationship for 5 years. We were friends first than slowly it developed to something more. I know dating online or offline can. I last dated online about 8 years ago Many comments on here would indicate that it hasn't. I'm feeling a bit duped by the author here, if she is married with 5 kids how could she ever have dated online in the current climate? That doesn't make sense. I don't think I'll ever use online dating again, it's a waste of time.
Tried for three months on 2 different sites, very depressing. Sending messages to fake profiles and old profiles they never delete. Women who aren't really there to date, just "window shopping" , scams and catfishers. Men pretending to be women and women who's first question is "what is your income? Here is the math.
Not very good odds. The real odds are probably lower. I have a slight feeling I should probably break up with my current girlfriend online. None of my past relationships online have worked and I broke a vow that I will never get into another long-term relationship because I know the results will not only break their heart, but it will break mine too and depress me.
I've possibly just shoved a lot of "love" into her face saying how much she means to me and other things, so it might break her heart badly. She is going through a lot, and dumping her now would be bad. But I still don't wish to hurt her emotions in the future. Because that'll leave a mark on me.
And I have a few friends online that know how much I've said I care about her and how much she has told them how much I matter to her. So I will be hated by around 7 friends. And lose at least 3 because of it. Well thought out messages never returned, not even a polite not interested.
Fake profiles, old photos, women there for an ego boost, cheating wives and Women who ask how much I make. I'm looking for a relationship not to hire a prostitute! If you ask me how much I make I'm pretty well off you get a "sorry, I'm not interested" reply. I finally meet someone who I think has similar interests and when we meet she's about pounds heavier than her picture.
Um, what part of I like to kayak, rock climb and compete in long distance cycling makes you think I want a women who can't climb a flight of stairs without stopping for a break? Women who set up a date, know we are going somewhere nice and then to a show after , then cancel at the last min.
Women who date multiple men at the same time! What kind of home were you raised in? It means I'm looking for a real long term relationship including possibly marriage and starting a family. I'm a tall, fit, handsome guy with multiple degrees a really nice home and a very successful business. On one popular site I was listed as the second most contacted man in my area a large city. It was still a bad experience I won't repeat. If I can't get a decent date online I feel sorry for the average Joe. Online dating is a poor way to meet someone. It's missing all the intangibles of sexual attraction and chemistry.
I wasted so much time messaging hundreds of women only to scrape together the occasional date which almost immediately I knew was a mistake. Had I met these women in person I would have known instantly that I wasn't interested. People have been getting together for thousands of years by meeting face to face. Social media and online is only contributing to social retardation. Look at the nerds who create all the online sites that people are supposed to interract on. I gather most of them would be unbearable in a one on one situation. And yet they have sold us a bill of goods that we are supposed to meet and socialize with people on their sites.
Very risky for us good men out there trying to find love online since the women of today are very extremely dangerous to meet as it is which most of them nowadays are total Psychos anyway unfortunately. Been there and done that. I disagree with this article. The majority of people today meet their partner online. I met my boyfriend on a dating site Hily!! Hily's the perfect dating site for anyone reading this sad article and nodding their head, because you will not experience the kind of flaky, weird guys described here.
I've only had good experiences. I met my xwife on Yahoo personals in when it was free. Turns out she settled for the first guy that would marry, have kids and support her as a stay at home mom. Well, now she's got to work gets half my income even being apart. Never again will I marry. I really loved reading your post. Every single thing that you said I had experienced the same. At first i thought that perhaps there was something wrong with me.
I have finally come to my senses and now know that I do not have to even give these sleazy disgusting middle aged men any of my time, I am worth much more than that!! Once upon a time meeting people in everyday social interactions was common and practical but after a two year relationship that ended five years ago I decided to try online dating. I wanted to share my experience so other people have some insight into the horrors but also the hopeful side.
Most woman that I met were decent people but there wasn't a real connection between them and I. You can almost tell even ten mins into the date but I tend to try and give it at least a bit longer. Most of the time my dates went fairly well and a second date was arranged. The problem isn't having good convo and meeting new people which is always an exciting experience.
It's the things that begin to be unveiled as the dates progress. Not to say we all don't have our own degree of baggage but many of the woman I have met weren't ready to commit. Wether it was a past relationship that hadnt been resolved sufficiently, a mental health issue that was unresolved or just not sure what they wanted. I believe there can be success with online dating because I have heard relationships working out between people who met online.
But a vast amount of people who don't have thier own issues figured out and proceed to drag people into what ever it is they are dealing with is a bit discouraging. We all have corks, faults, flaws etc but if it is going to literally effect the ability to be in a relationship it's more then irresponsible to be dragging people you don't even know into it. In one light I think online dating has a horrible aspect and numerous pitfalls in regards to types of people wether just looking for a hookup, mentally unstable, crazy stalker ex boyfriend's, the list goes on but may pose hope for those who have an inability to meet people for reasons of shyness, lower self esteem, and less confidence.
Over all though finding your soulmate or at least a keeper so to speak would be far and few inbetween. I don't suggest trying to meet your true love online, for casual interactions though, it's not a bad resource. Just be aware you may be singing up for more then you originally intended to recieve. Thank you, this article is sensible and has a high degree of accuracy.
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Divorced 6 yrs ago, I have finally come to the conclusion that my attempts at online dating are futile and time consuming, but worse, emotionally deflating. Unfortunately as an older male, 65 , there are some harsh realities: People think an older male may be successful chasing after younger women, hardly any truth to this.
I have tried to meet women about my age group but online the women, because of their advantage online, often claim to desire men years younger than they are. That I personally am in excellent health and level of fitness is meaningless to these ladies as my actual age does not boost their self worth as a younger man by age can.
I am truly in a bind. For every ladies I write a decent, cordial intro. Women commonly complain that they receive crude messages from men with no common decency. However, my well crafted, sincere messages with recent photos has resulted in mostly, almost all actually, failure.
6 Reasons Why Looking for a Relationship Online Is a Bad Idea
Just not sure about what I can do. My good friend convinced me and put me online, I met a guy who was very surprised to find a pretty woman online to the point that he was shaking with nerve on our firs date, declared his undying love for me, wanted to marry me and to share my dreams. First liar was his age he made himself 10 years younger. Truest thing i ever read online. I really am wondering what has gone wrong. I didn't try online dating but in fact something more serious. Online matrimonial websites, which is kind of a norm in India and South Asia.
The guys i have come across - such duds, to put it mildly. They lie about their profession, their pay, their interests, their lives, their having been married or divorced in the past.. If i find a handful interesting and try to get in touch, they dilly-dally, they are only interested in seeing as many photos of mine as possible, even daring to ask for ones in states of undress, and worst of all - holding decent intelligent flowing conversation is the most impossible task anyone can ask of them. Maybe the claims were true. But the guy was ultimately so boring that i wasn't even interested in hanging around and finding out.
I too am starting to believe it's true - all the genuine solid men are married, gay or dead. I too have given up. I personally would NEVER use the internet to find a relationship ever again, but I know of a lady that it did work out for so I guess you never know! So I deactivated it. My email has never been productive until I used it in online dating site. I can relate to virtually all the points in this article. Moreover, personally the profiles have rarely appealed.
I don't know why but I've found a vast majority to be boring. Many of those that do bother to fill out their profiles tend to write similar, if not the same things. I've only come across a handful with some enthusing spirit but unfortunately, they've never responded when messaged [and no, it's nothing to do with my approach; I can converse fine]. I've had a sum total of eight contacts.
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Two of them were moved communicationally from the site — by me — but in spite of their asking to meet up and wanting to 'chat', one never bothered contacting unless I did while the other hid behind spamming text messages and refused to speak over the phone, despite being the one to suggest it. In the other cases, I've been approached by people either significantly younger than me, who haven't been that interesting or have randomly blocked me after initiation. On top of that, some had been circulating the other dating sites simultaneously, which made me warier. I've since left my OKCupid open but I'm no longer actively searching.
Instead, I'll go to or start some Meetups and social events. I don't think online dating is suitable for me. Online dating is also hell for a man, i have been online for a while now and its pretty discouraging, i am 44 i keep fit, i don't look half as bad and i get turned down by women who have nothing to offer.
The people i have met lie about there appearance, they never ever look like there picture, i have been insulted by some, telling me that i am ugly, look older then my age and so on, i want a hot guy you are not a hot guy. What as this world come to. I was 10years with a women and she left me for her soul mate, faithful, took care of her and all.
I have been single for 4 years now and meeting people at my age is not easy, the worst part is when i go out with friends i get hit on by 25y old women who think i am a military, i am build for my age close to 6 feet and pounds. I have a good job my own place independent and to be honest i stop looking for a relationship, its been 4 years of frustration and i did try. If you want low self esteem then go online for a men that is the place, after that you look at yourself and start thinking that maybe you are the ugliest man on the planet and more.
18 Terrible, No-Good, Very Bad Reasons to Date that Guy (or Gal)
Post like this one make me realize that online might not be the place to meet. Most people over 40 want looks before anything else and worst most of the time they don't look that good either, i met women who post picture of them dated 10 15y and when you meet them they give you a hard time. It's good to get a different perspective on the subject. I agree with the ones further down. But I'll break it down:.
Well, you'll find this in any singles spot, though. Online didn't invent it. In fact, at least thru online you can actually weed them out a little easier as more is shown than mingling at a singles joint. Well, same as above, to some degree. They're going to in real life among strangers at singles joints. However, you do have a point -- people are more readily to lie about some stuff to avoid being weeded by filters.
But this is understandably due to another flaw -- 5! People are more Unnecessarily Judgemental online. This is not pressured online whatsoever, so this is no flaw to online. Online has no allure for it. There's plenty of people in one's surrounding areas. Bolting Out of Dates: Yeah, but for you to fear that -- you must be a bad guy in 2. And yes, mySpace angled photos IS lying. So avoid that, have recent pics -- and you won't run into that Anymore than IRL dating.
Some can, and everyone can if you wish to lower your standards.
Thing is, people are more judgemental online. Their tastes are more stringent. They assume the worst, with a hair trigger. You complain about it applied to you, but you apply it to others and Want to. This philosophy had far-reaching implications, impacting the arts, literature, government, and many other areas of society. Of interest to our discussion, though, is its effects on relationships between men and women. While love between husbands and wives has always been assumed, it was generally not perceived as a pre-requisite for entering marriage.
Rather, it was understood that married partners would grow to love one another. Other factors in weighing marriage decisions were generally considered to be more significant. In modern America, recreational dating is taken to be a positive good, like food, air, and sunshine, a necessary, inescapable activity. It is considered to be a normal and natural part of growing up - what could be more wholesomely American than taking a girl to the prom?
But the fact is that dating was entirely unknown at the time the Scriptures were given to us. This means that for those who take the Bible seriously should consider what the Bible has to say on the formation of families. There are many forms of dating, perhaps as many as there are people. Everyone has a different view of what is right and wrong. But there is a glaring fault in many of our models, a double-standard. Once we are married, we recognize that certain things are sacred to our partner. Things such as co-habitation, kissing, intimate hugging, sex and bringing up children.
We recognize that not only our physical body, but our emotions, even our spirit are dedicated to that one partner, for the rest of our life according to our vows. The dichotomy is this: We would be shocked if a married man had an emotional attachment to another woman, and yet it's quite acceptable for singles to have a different emotional attachment every week.
On the one hand, we save sex for our partners and some even do that sparingly , but on the other, we engage in rampant emotional promiscuity, giving pieces of our hearts away until one wonders what will be left for that special, life-long partner.