Is dating an insecure man worth it


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  4. 5 Ways To Find Happiness With A Guy Who’s Insecure | Thought Catalog
  5. 8 Signs You Are Dating An Insecure Man

An insecure partner can be harmful to the relationship, as then you will completely lose your freedom. Insecure people try really hard to control their partner or are constantly suspicious of their involvement with others. Nobody wants to live in a caged way. So, before getting involved it is important to question it that relationship worth it? Insecure men are really sensitive and caring. In the beginning of a relationship, everything appears peachy and nice.

They even help you with any problem in your life. However, as the time passes they start acting in their insecure ways. They turn controlling and manipulative. Insecure men will act as if you put the stars in the sky. They will ignore things other people say and only listen to you. While this is good it is also bad. It becomes a problem and shows obsession big time.

They even take your opinion over their own most of the time. When you try to break up with an insecure man he will guilt you into staying. He will do this as many times as you let him. He is not afraid of showing his vulnerable side. Insecure men will bring up your past relationships a lot. Insecure men will overstep your boundaries and think it is alright to do so because they say they are sorry. Sorry is not enough and they need to be aware. Do not let anyone disrespect you or your privacy.

These things can be worked through to an extent but not everyone is willing to do so. If he is not willing to change then he does not deserve you. I think it is easy to say, 'Don't let fear drive you. By the laws of attraction I have attracted like for like and the last 13 years have been filled with failed relationships. I have been in therapy but cannot break the cycle of intense worthlessness made worse by men.

OK so I have allowed it to happen but I can't undo who I am. It would be playing a game I can't win. I have entered a life of aloneness only so my heart doesn't get broken by these men.

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There are too many out there rather than the good who I have never met and who are married to somebody else My question is, how can I live a life alone and accept this fate? Anonymous Mar 14, 1: Now with that said, "free will" is also part of the human condition. And what this means is that you can freely will yourself towards progress, growth, change and forward movement - should you set your mind to it. Notice I said we are all insecure by nature as humans, but also notice that not every human being on the planet ACTS on that insecurity or lets it take control and steer the wheel and be the driving force in their life?

You can overcome your insecurities. You can build up your personal coping skills to fall back on and you can participate in things that build your self-confidence and eventually wipe away the majority of those insecurities by doing so. You're not helpless against them. However, ridding yourself of them requires lots of time, patience and self-love - it does not happen overnight. And in order to do that, you must face your insecurities and be willing to work on yourself. People have overcome many, many horrible things in life and come out on top.

It starts in the mind, a mindshift if you will, and the first step towards that is shifting your mindset to one of "I can do this" from one of "I'm helpless against this. By the Law of Attraction "like attracts like.

Is it really worth dating an insecure man

Because once you place yourself into that positive mindset, via the Law of Attraction, you will be emitting positive energy and therefore, you will also start attracting that same positive energy right back to yourself, thus becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy in a sense. Add to that mindset lots of time, patience, self-love and inner work done on "self" - and before you know it, you're making a huge shift and along with that shift will come a sense of value and worthiness for yourself, which in turn raises your self-confidence that begins to chip away at those insecurities.

Over time, as your confidence builds, your insecurities begin to slip into the background. And while you may still carry minor insecurities, the big difference is that the end result is that you are now MANAGING them properly - and they are no longer in control, or controlling your life and your decisions, and the people you attract back to yourself, etc.

If you don't love yourself dear, no one else is going to be able to love you. That's the acceptance of defeat negative. Instead, you use your free will to overcome that mindset and make the shift to one of "I'm going to fight to love myself and know my value so that the rest of the world can see it, too. So that, instead of acting out on your insecurities, you now have developed healthy ways to manage them instead and they no longer are in control of your decisions, actions or behavior. Some things that can be done to build personal coping skills are things like breathing exercises when you're feeling anxiety and feel like you may take action on your insecurities - instead, you take no action, you sit quietly, close your eyes and start counting your breaths in your head as you move your chest up and down, slowing down the pace of your breathing which leads to taking control of the anxiety you're feeling at the moment.

Or, when your insecurities are making you feel as if you want to say or do something you may regret later, instead of taking that action, take a different action instead. Instead of picking up the phone and verbally assaulting someone or questioning them, or behaving in a fearful manner of some sort - you take a walk, or you go shopping, or you call a friend or family member to meet you for lunch, or you go jogging, or you exercise or you participate in a hobby of some sort. You do ANYTHING other than take action on your insecurity and your emotions in that moment, and you distract yourself long enough for the feeling to pass.

If you do that, again you are managing your insecurities and they are not interfering in your life. And if you make these things a regular practice for yourself, eventually they become second nature and you are no longer triggered to act on your insecurities and instead, you are triggered to take action on something that has a positive value to it and something that makes you happy and something that makes you feel good about yourself.

You put your mind into a positive place, you surround yourself with positive people who care about you, you participate in positive activities that distract the mind. Again, none of this will happen overnight and it requires lots of hard inner work and self-love and discipline. However, it is possible to manage these feelings and insecurities in a healthy manner - versus taking action on them in a self-destructive one. Hi, this is Anonymous from March I wanted to jot you some further examples illustrative of the kind of guy he is for your feedback.

I still wonder if you could suggest some sort of script to use to contact him. Incidentally, we are about How do you respond to his braggadocio? I gave myself a first exit soon after. I said look me up when you are available, will you? Work and play are inextricably linked for him.

The next time I contacted him he used my phrasing and said work had him super unavailable that weekend but we could go out soon! I let it alone, but could I have pinned him down at this point? MOA, I still wonder if you can give me somewhat of a script to use to contact him. I realize I have to be clear about what I want. Is it possible to mention I have more free-time now than I will in August when I start professional school. Or that I am sorry for clogging his phone with texts. It occurs to me not to apologize for anything. I wonder if I could pick up the phone at some opportune time, out of the blue and call him.

He returns voicemails with a text. For frame of reference this happened before I gave him three weeks of space and before he responded to my text about his recent press. Anonymous Mar 16, Because any suggestions I provide would be the exact opposite of what you're intending to do here and as a result, you would not be willing to perform them, thus making it a pointless effort. I do not believe in women becoming the aggressor and "chasing" men, pursuing them, intiating contact, etc.

I believe that if a man wants you, he knows exactly where to find you, and that's exactly what he'll do - he'll seek you out. And if he doesn't seek you out, instead of attempting to control that and him to no avail, you're much better off accepting the reality of the situation and what his actions are telling you, versus attempting to control things that are out of your control and driving yourself mad in the process and damaging your confidence and self-esteem when those efforts fall flat. Because the sad reality is that nothing you do or say can make someone love you or want to be with you.

And when their actions are signaling that they don't, you're much better off accepting that versus thinking that if you do or say something different, it will somehow magically make them feel differently about you or the situation. The sad truth is that it won't. And as I stated in my previous comment, if you've been corresponding for five months and he hasn't asked you out again, he's stood you up or ignored you and made lots of excuses - then chances are he's not going to, unfortunately.

Five months is more than enough time for a man to decide if he intends to see you again or not and men strike when the iron is hot - they don't let time pass. So if he hasn't made a move in that amount of time, then my suggestion would be for you to accept the reality of "what is" versus focusing on "what might be" and walk away.

Becasue becoming the aggressor and chasing him down will only make him withdraw even further from you in the long run if he's not interested, which he's already told you he isn't unfortunately: As a result, I do not suggest doing that. Knowing all of that, and seeing all of that actually play out in the thousands of comments here on the site over the course of several years, is the reason that I generally do not provide suggestions or tactics on this site for how to pursue a man. I simply don't believe that a woman should reduce herself to taking on the man's role, the lead role, nor do I believe that taking that a woman taking on the lead role and attempting to control things she can't control ever leads to a happy ending.

Most times, it actually leads to the man slapping the ole "crazy lady" label onto the woman doing the pursuing and avoiding her even more than he previously did. As a result, I'm not the right person to help you with that if that's the route you've decided to take. However, I wish you luck and if it works out, do return to let us know - good luck! Anonymous March 16, at A guy who is genuinely interested in you would not go 5 months and counting without a second date. It's just that simple.

He will pursue you. You have also given him many signals and initiated so much that he is very much aware that you're into him but he has still not taken the bait, so to speak. I realize it's hard to do but you should try and wean yourself off him and find someone who really wants to get to know you and build a relationship. If you continue forcing to be with this guy, he may come back but with ulterior motives i. Anonymous March 14 1: I am insecure by nature. It is learned behavior. I went into adulthood pushing down the person I was inside, only knowing the deepest part of myself and not really knowing the rest of me.

One step at a time. I was a single mother, working full time and doing it all by myself. Although I was doing what no other woman I knew was doing: One day I decided to take a step… to test the waters. I decided I was going to walk up to every person I saw -- even the ones I prejudged as better than me; the ones I thought could see inside of me and see all of my mistakes, the ones I thought would think I was a loser, the ones I thought would never speak to me because of all of my flaws, etc.

I approached beautiful couples, single women, single men, teenager girls and boys, and families, and to my amazement not one of them reacted how I feared they would. As I smiled and approached, most of them smiled as well. I was courteous, and so were they.

This may seem like an insignificant act to some, but for me it was a huge step. No one was the worse for it, and in fact, I made a whole lot of money for that charity that afternoon. And what I realized was that my worries of what other people thought of me, my insecurities that they were judging me, or my assumptions that they were better than me, were just that: So, to add to Ms.

Are You the Perfect Victim?

One change in previous actions. I always learn a lot from your posts mirror Thank you so much I read your posts over and over again to remind myself and never forget There is a guy with my at work, he started by teasing me a lot with sweet talk a t first to make me help him with some things but then after that he started to tease me in a very mean irritating ways so I started to change me behavior towards him.

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Recently he suggested to participate with him in a project but because I know he is a taker and will never participate, I refused. He insisted and insisted for a month now but I still refused strongly. Now, he is very mad and tease me by saying I want to make you and see you cry and I want to buy a cage and put you in it!!! These comments were truly insane and I was literally shocked!!!! First, why he is insisting?

When I asked him why, he said it will benefit you, so I said do you really care, he said no I don't, but then he keep insisting on me!!!! Second,Why he is mad if he doesn't care about me! By the way he is a player and has many girlfriends. So I told him I might listen to what he has to say but ultimately I will do as I please. He wasn't too happy about that but accepted it anyway. A few weeks ago I discovered he isn't who he purported to be. He lied about his name his age told me his in his forties only to realize he is actually 63 sigh he looks really good though, his life his nationality everything.

I only discovered this when he invited me to his country and I saw a suitcase with another name and asked him who that persona was and he said a work colleague. I didn't think much of it at the time then decided to Google the name and lo and behold I see his picture. He is hugely successful and extremely wealthy to say the least.

I confronted him being the Sag I am seeking truth and all his a Virgo by the way. He said he was being cautious because in the past he has met women who have established what they think he is worth and only wanted him for his money so he wanted to make sure I want him for him. I just can't with the lies and I've told him this but he accuses me of being dramatic and cheating? He didn't put up a fight he just accepted it: Told him I have issues and that his lying just brings them out wrote long ass messages on Whatsapp they got blue ticks but he never replied.

I was really starting to like him but I can see his an insecure man and it wouldn't work. I know I told him I never wanna hear from him again because of all the lies but why do I feel so conflicted. Please assist mirror Dev. Anonymous Mar 21, It has nothing to do with his feelings, it has to do with his ego, his need for control, and his need for constant reassurance. He's already told you that he's setting out to make you cry and upset you, and his behavior falls in line with that so it's no secret why he's doing what he's doing here.

Men like this aren't worth dating dear. It's not an enjoyable experience to be around someone who's constantly attempting to push your buttons to get a reaction out of you simply to reassure themselves and make them feel better about themselves. He's a player and he's doing what players do - they play games. And this is a little game he's playing to reassure himself that he's in control here and that you care, whether he cares about you or not. Because if you react the way he expects you to crying, pleading, begging , then he feels more like a man and better about himself.

5 Ways To Find Happiness With A Guy Who’s Insecure | Thought Catalog

Being around someone like that is no fun, not to mention, very damaging to a woman's confidence and self-esteem. If it were me, after he admitted that this is what he was attempting to do "I want to. Because being around someone who needs to see you cry so that they can feel better about themselves is NEVER going to be an enjoyable experience. Dev, "it doesn't matter that one is a highly successful wealthy man does it?

People of all statuses in life can have deep insecurities. It's a manipulation tactic. If he's lying about who he is, then he's probably lying about a lot more as well. But it's only been four months thankfully and once you take some time and space to yourself and stop speaking to him.

Mirror, Whoever you are, man or woman, I adore you. Your website has changed me and my life ever since I stumped into your world. I have sent you a few messages in fact, but none of them got response back from you. I am here to read, listen and to think Your words and thoughts made me to reevaluate myself, to realized who I am again after the long painful path that I had been walk on I feel I have find my inner power that no one can control me ever again.

I am the king of my own kingdom now. Although I knew on the path I am walking on from now, there will still be the huge or small bumps, but I knew I will walk over them with my pride without hesitation. I learned so much from you and from this site. Thank you, I appreciate you. I spent so much time on this site Iol your advises are gold. I met a guy two months ago in a night club he wasn't hitting on me like a jerk or anything, my guy friend were actually hitting on his female friend, and my guy friend ask me to ask him if his female friend is single.

Then he tole me yeah she is single and then he ask for my number because he thinks I am very attractive. I was in town only for the weekend then I went back home which is 2 hours away from where he lives We were talking about meeting up, but never had the chance he always wants me to go to him I was thinking the same thing tho, I live in a college dorm and I do not think him coming over for first date is good because he'll have to live in my dorm and I am not ready for him to meet all my friends.

8 Signs You Are Dating An Insecure Man

Anyways, we have been talking via text for 2 months.. We said we should meet up around 8pm because he is always busy on that day, and I agreed before that he keeps telling me that he is not really good with dates, and we cannot actually go for dinner because he had an appointment with his family already. However, before 8 he told me that he cannot make it cuz he had a few other things to do, so we put it off to 9pm, but before 9 he texted me that he will be here around 9: At that time I was staying at a friend's place and if I went out with his at 9: Also, she told me that I should not keep saying yes to him, so she texted him that it is too late.

However, he texted back "it is fine if you can't, it is up to you". I do not think he felt sorry at all! I went back to my town the next day and never heard from him received like 2 snapchats but ignored it I do not know what to do, he seemed like a nice guy and very sincere at the beginning What kind of things should I pay attention to to make sure that he is not the one for me?

Or should I just give this thing up? You are very smart on this kinda subject Anonymous March 24, But some of these articles have pages and pages of comments, so you have to make sure you're clicking through to the very last comment page, the last comment, to see the latest response. Anonymous Mar 25, 8: I live in a college dorm and I do not think him coming over for first date is good because he'll have to live in my dorm" Actually - no one should be spending the night together with a complete and total stranger anywhere, or under any circumstances, on a first date. Not only is he a total stranger, but spending the night together, sex or no sex, on a first date is not traditional dating.

That's "hookup" type behavior which is completely different from traditional dating. He will think or assume he might get laid or experience fooling around or some sort of sexual activity by doing so, and he will also secretly question to himself why a woman would even agree to let a total stranger spend the night with her. And the conclusion he'll jump to is - she's okay with hooking up, and she probably does this all the time - which is NOT the impression you want to give a man.

In traditional dating, the man ALWAYS comes to the woman first, he takes her to dinner or takes her out somewhere nice for the evening and treats her - and then he goes home. If he's traveled out of town to do so, then he behaves like an adult and he gets a room for himself or makes arrangements to take care of himself for the evening.

And if a woman does provide a room and does let a total stranger spend the night with her on a first date - it's human nature to jump to conclusions about the woman that lead somewhere along the lines of "she must do this all the time" - which is not what you want a man to think of you. Nice guys don't make women chase them down or rearrange their plans for them or make the woman travel to them for the first date. Don't be a "people pleaser" dear - be real. You're toying with the idea of letting a complete stranger spend the night with you if he does come to see you and on top of it, you're already venturing into sexual territory via sexting prior to that even happening.

So what do you think he thinks is going to happen? He definitely thinks a this point that when he sees you, he's going to be receiving sex from you - because your actions are falling in line with sending that signal to him, ya' know? Talk of spending the night together right away, sex taking place via texting prior to even getting to know one another or having been out on one date, you traveling to him once already and attempting to see him.

Don't think one thing but then take actions that signal something entirely different. If you give a guy the impression that "you're down to fool around" immediately - that will never lead to a relationship and it will only lead to a hookup or booty call situation, and you'll feel used because he'll have sex with you, he won't want a relationship, and he'll think it's only a hookup. And if you question that, he'll say something like, "But you were okay with this, so what's changed? So don't let that happen to you here - make sure your words and your actions align to give the right impression to the man from DAY ONE.

If he's taking none - then that tells you something. If he's only taking actions that might lead to sex and a hookup and nothing more - then that tells you something. If he only texts you about sex and doesn't ask questions or call or try to get to know you better - then that tells you something. Not if he doesn't ask you and take you on a formal date for dinner or something nice that signals he respects you and wishes to get to know you better. Not if he doesn't call. Not if he doesn't come to see you and make arrangements to stay somewhere else for the night.

All of those things above signal a lack of respect and the expectation of a hookup or using the woman for sex and nothing more. If he doesn't change that and his behavior towards you - then no - he gets no second chance. Thank you so much for your response Dear Mirror, I absolutely love your insight! I still hasn't text him yet, I figured I should let him text me first and see if he felt sorry or not I get one snapchat from him per day and I never responded.. Should I text him and try to resolve this misunderstanding?

Also, I was not really replying to his "horny texts", I was trying to be cool and went alone with his sexual conversation but then I realize that I shouldn't do that. So after that whenever he mentioned "his horny" I usually do not reply or tell him to go to sleep or I am going to sleep, and I am planning to tell him that I am not ready for this kinda text and stop doing this the next time he tries.

I do not know how to make him cherish me and treat me like a lady like when we just started talking, but now he is not sweet like he use to be. I feel it should be something I have done that make him acting like this now I am not a very good texter, and apparently now he thinks I am very easygoing and "down to sex". I do not how to treat him from now, what should I do after he texted me? Thank you dear mirror for replying me so fast!

Mirror, this is Anonymous Mar 2, 9: So, I have been applying all that I have learnt here and in the recommended literature , and reading the comments to stay the course, take inspiration and help keep myself centred. Reading through some of the older comments from the popular Disappearing Reappearing Man discussions, particularly the comments from Gem50 and Peter, I was struck by how similar some of clever "ex's" current behaviour is to Gem50's Virgo. He is aware that things are different, and has even said he prefers things the way they are now and mostly seems happier , but he is also struggling internally?

I have called him on that and made it clear he has to deal with it himself. Some days ago, he texted from overseas, asking if I "missed him" he was feeling insecure and sought reassurance. I replied that I think it is he who misses me, to which he said "Yes! He would usually text that he had returned, say hi, etc. He did not, although we did meet when he turned up. In other words, there was a wave of fear and he pulled back. There was some tension that evening and, when I breezily wished him a "have a good trip" for another forthcoming trip, he got a little mad.

He had instigated the fight so that he could receive the emotional satisfaction of kissing and making up. Misery just wanted company. He made me his emotional punching bag and I fell for that - despite knowing that this is one of their little tricks. In any event, it seems clear to me that he is struggling - internally? In some of these areas I see improvement, but when he grows frustrated with having to prove himself, he acts out and reverts back to previous bad behaviour - not all the time, to be fair, but on occasion, as I am now seeing.

Mirror, do they ever change? Is it ever too late for them to change? I know change starts from within and they have to do the work. How do I push him to be a better man? To fulfil his full potential and not allow him to be lazy as all the women in his life have allowed him to be? Does part of it depend on his level of interest? That is, he will not want to lose me if I walk and hence, he will make the effort? I totally agree with you that this guy who tells me that he wanna see me cry is insecure man.

I was really confused that he has feelings for me and that was why he always insists on me On the other hand he is so rude to me That day I suggested something and he said stay quiet in front of everyone and I was embarrassed and told him don't ever talk to me like that and now he is the one who is mad at me!!! What is the deal with this behavior? He always projects his mistakes on me and be mad at me without any reasonable excuse Anonymous Mar 25, It's disrespectful to keep someone waiting like that, your time is valuable too. And when a man starts to signal that you're not a priority to him - you are not required to tolerate poor treatment like that, nor should you tolerate that.

You did nothing wrong here. He was rude, he was ignorant, he was disrespectful, he did not make you or his plans with you a priority and as a result of HIS actions, you had to cancel. There's nothing to misunderstand about that, it is what it is - and it's HIS fault, not yours. If he treats you like this and then when he calls you "jump" - he will interpret that as you being desperate for male attention and willing to jump at the opportunity for it, even when the man has treated you poorly and taken you for granted. He already knows he owes you an explanation.

You don't have to tell him that. And if he's a decent person, he'll offer one without you asking. How YOU love yourself and how you handle yourself - your own actions - are what signal to others that you're a "prize. On the flip side of that, if you respect yourself don't tolerate poor treatment, do not have sex on the first date, do not get drunk or drink too much, etc. How you value and treat yourself - signals to others how THEY should value and treat you: And if he walks away from you - LET HIM - because that's a big red flag that all he wanted to do was use you for sex, and he had absolutely no intention of considering a relationship in the first place.

HIS actions are also speaking loud and clear - are you listening to what they're telling you? This is a big red flag dear "he told me "but you had sex with someone who is not your boyfriend before Honestly dear, I believe this guy's out to use you for sex because his actions are falling in line with that.

Don't let yourself be used here dear. If he's going to be ignorant about it and walk away because you won't permit him to use you for sex - then LET him, because he's not a good guy if that's the case. Gentlemen do not do this to women. He is who he is and unless HE wants to change, nothing you do or say will force him to do that. He may or may not be compelled to change by you leaving, however, if he's this deeply insecure, chances are it'd take a lot more than that.

Meaning, HE would really have to want to change and not because of things going on externally, but because he really, truly wants to change - internally. Don't take him on as a "project" dear. Many women do that and think that over time, they can have a positive effect on the man and his behavior and that in time things will change. And while that's a nice dream, it's not reality. Because again, the reality is that we cannot control others, we can only control our reaction to them.

Additionally, we cannot help those that do not want the help, or that don't think they need it. Anonymous Mar 27, He always projects his mistakes on me and be mad at me without any reasonable excuse. They lash out at others, they exhibit odd behavior, they overcompensate, they attempt to control others - it's just what they do. Which is why I strongly advise AGAINST dating deeply insecure men because staying with one can actually be incredibly damaging and leave you deeply scarred yourself.

Mirror, do you agree with me???? I concluded that this guy is a manipulative player who is not serious enough to sit and speak about his feelings directly I concluded that this guy's actions and talk are part of playing the game on me with bad intentions because if there was any good intentions he would be at least honest and stop playing these games So what I did is that I ended everything with him Do you agree that I did the right thing??

I am in my thirties and you know women are desperate in this age, I want to marry and have children before it's too late that is why I always question myself if I lost this guy I need your opinion and thoughts if you read my comment Love or hate??? I wanna see you cry 2. I like seeing you mad 3. I feel so happy when you are upset 4. I wanna lock you in a cage 5. He makes me mad and then he acts mad at me 9. He laughs when I am hurt and "say do you expect me to comfort you" and then laugh at me I help him but when I need his help he says he is busy or ignores me.

I just read all of the discussions here now! And I am in the moment of venting, angry and hurt at the very moment Why are women get all these from men? I wonder but not surrender who has create all of us to began with? The human natures, nature of human. I am hurting badly I don't hate men, and I think some women have the same behaviors that made all men hate uswomen in general, as we hate some of the men's nature.

So to whom we shall blame? I am so frustrating with the issues I have read in this discussion. MOA, is there any good solution on people getting hurt from a relationship?

Should You Date A Shy And Insecure Guy?

How am I going to make a final peace with myself? One of my girlfriend recently said to me that she cuts off sexual activity from all men since she is very much a sexual person in nature. I don't get it? I knew even the monks and nuns have the desire of sex! We are human, human has seven desires as nature, how can we repress the sexual desire like that? That's not natural and human.

If there is only the Platonic love or called spiritual love ONLY, that's insatiable in human nature, who can take on that for our short life span? I need to understand this better from MOA, would you share your minds with us? I'm not taking him on as a "project", Mirror. Not too long ago, when I let him back in after cutting him off, he did seem to understand that he needed to be a better man.

And for some time, it did seem that that's exactly what he was trying to do. I saw glimmers of change. Perhaps he's expecting me to revert to my old self, act insecure and needy, and chase. I'm not doing that, of course, it's exhausting - to the point where I might even be ready to call it quits.

I'm not thinking straight so I shall take no action now. Riding the elevator earlier, my watch read "" I think I know what you will say about that. Mirror, I just saw the numbers "" again. A few days ago, it was "", "" and "". What's your take on this? This is an area I'm not familiar with. PO, "Do you agree that I did the right thing? If you sensed him being evasive and vague and non-committal - then chances are there's a reason for that.

He's either playing a game, he's insecure or he's emotionally unavailable, non of which make for a great relationship. Anonymous Mar 29, 5: He's an abuser who clearly suffers from low self-esteem which creates control issues within him. You need to remove yourself from this situation dear.

No one enjoys spending time around someone who's abusing them, nor should you even consider doing so. Anonymous Mar 29, 6: Sometimes people come into your life to be "teachers" for you. Sometimes they're not meant to be your lover or your husband or your friend - sometimes, they're meant to be a teacher. And the life lesson they are teaching you, while very painful.

Because through your painful experience, this person, this teacher, has actually taught you what NOT to tolerate, what NOT to do and in doing so. So believe it or not - a lot of good can come from these painful experiences, if you look at the individual who hurt you as a "teacher" of sorts.

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You may not have known what you wanted or needed or were worthy of previous to meeting them, but after your experience with them - they have helped you narrow down what you do want, what you are worthy of and what you need from another individual as your partner. Events have somewhat overtaken your views about change not being possible unless they really, truly want to change. This entire week, he has flaked and "disappeared" after a fairly good week last week save for random "Hi" texts which I ignored, followed by more texts "Hi! After ignoring those, he called, and began babbling on about mundane topics, then after my monosyllabic answers asked "Anything new?

I ended by saying we'll "talk later. This is a replay of the birthday let-down in December where he had buttered me up with good vibes and promises, then failed to follow through on purpose so that I'd become upset, emotional, and give chase and hand him the power. I see the same pattern this week, and it happened without any warning although it clearly was premeditated and deliberate. I had called him "insecure" and it seems to me that he is now attempting to trigger that and other fears in me, to make ME the unsecure one.