My friend is dating the wrong guy

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  1. 12 Lessons You Learn From Dating The Wrong Guy | Thought Catalog
  2. How do you tell your friend that she’s dating the wrong guy?
  3. Acknowledge Her Strengths

Staying mum until an epiphany hits is one way to support a friend who is dating someone you despise. But is honesty sometimes a better policy? Should friends not let friends date jerks? Deciding if and how to intervene in what you perceive to be a friend's toxic romance is a delicate dance, and people differ on how to approach the question. In a study that examined the behavior of college students who strongly approved or disapproved of a friend's relationship, two-thirds of those polled believed conveying their feelings influenced the course of the relationship, though most said it was a slight effect.

And sometimes it backfired. Almost 15 percent of people who disapproved of their friend's relationship believed their reaction contributed to the relationship becoming stronger, known as the Romeo and Juliet effect, according to the study, published in in the journal Personal Relationships. Wiedner worried that expressing her reservations when she hadn't been asked would fall on deaf ears and cause her friend to clam up or hide her boyfriend's negative behavior.

12 Lessons You Learn From Dating The Wrong Guy | Thought Catalog

She thinks her friend might have suspected a lack of enthusiasm, anyway, as Wiedner wasn't going on about how much she liked the guy, which she normally would. In Weinstein's opinion, the foremost question driving the decision to intervene is whether the jerky behavior is simply distasteful, or actually harmful — such as physical or emotional abuse, sexist or racist comments, driving drunk and making passes at other people. If it's distasteful behavior, Weinstein would apply the ethics principle of respect for others and recommend keeping your opinion to yourself, because chances are the friend is aware of the behavior and is choosing to accept it.

Weinstein emphasizes having solid evidence, which means not just hearsay or one example, but a pattern of behavior based in fact. Catching your friend's mate at a bar with someone else might have an innocent back story, he said, and people should get the benefit of the doubt before you start sowing seeds of doubt. But other experts say friends should feel free to start a dialogue about even the smaller things that bug them, assuming the friendship is close and has a history of being open to discussing sensitive things.

Healthy relationships are hard to come by and, honestly, they need a lot of work and attention. Can you bring about a healthy relationship when it starts off totally dysfunctional?

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  • How to Convince Your Best Friend She Has a Bad Boyfriend.

Maybe, but only if both of you work at it and seek professional help. Otherwise, your best bet is to admit that the relationship is doomed and cut loose. Of course, if there is any hitting or threats, the relationship is completely over and you both need to exit the situation as quickly as possible before things get even worse. Many people go through life believing that being in a relationship is the ultimate life goal.

How do you tell your friend that she’s dating the wrong guy?

They believe that any relationship, even a bad one, is better than being alone. My own view is that when you are in a bad relationship, get out of it and spend a year or two working on yourself. It is not only the healthiest thing to do, it is also the only way to show yourself that there is more to life than being stuck with someone who doesn't share your ideals, morals, or love of adventure. If your friends only want to hang out with just you and his friends want to be around just him, there may be a real problem with how the two of you interact with each other.

Friends don't want to get caught in the middle of a bad relationship. Arguing and getting snippy with each other in public will make your friends feel uncomfortable. If you notice that people do not want to hang out with you and your partner as a couple, examine how the two of you interact with each other.


Is the situation stressful or argumentative? If it is, have a serious talk with your partner.

Acknowledge Her Strengths

If the two of you can't do that, maybe the two of you are not right for each other. When the love is real, you can't stop thinking about the other person. You live, breath, and eat in the image of the one you love. In other words, there isn't a moment that passes when you aren't thinking about him.

If you have a boyfriend and you pretty much forget about him when he isn't in the same area as you, chances are pretty strong that you are not in love. Your best move here is to end the relationship in the most adult way possible so that you both can find your true loves. The relationship may have started off wonderfully, but eventually a touch of hate and resentment crept in and now when you look at him you get an awful feeling inside of you.

Relationships can turn bad for many reasons.

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  5. Perhaps he always seems to be so lucky. He gets away with breaking the law, like speeding down the highway, and never gets caught doing stupid stuff. Perhaps it is because he is totally spoiled by his mother who steps in and buys him everything. She is always there for him and gets in your way of having a meaningful relationship with your boyfriend.

    You begin to hate him for it, and it grows and grows until the situation becomes unhealthy. If you know what I am talking about, then know that it is also time to pack up and leave. A loving relationship does not include hate. He keeps tabs on you, questioning where you have been, who you talked to, and what you did. He checks up on everyone you talk to on Facebook. You, on the other hand, sneak a peak at his phone when he is sleeping or in the shower.

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    5. 12 Lessons You Learn From Dating The Wrong Guy!
    6. Neither one of you trust each other and are always worried about possible cheating. If this sounds familiar, it is probably time to make an exit out of the relationship and begin working on your personal trust issues. Without trust, there is no relationship. Fix yourself first before entering into a new relationship. Healthy, loving couples can't wait to see each other. Remind her that she is a smart woman, with plenty going for herself and the ability to find a man who will treat her well.

      Emphasize the fact that you are not criticizing her choice, but noting some concerns you have observed in her mate. This approach may encourage her to be more receptive to your opinion than if you were overly critical of her boyfriend. When you state your case to your friend about why she should not date her boyfriend, be sure to take a non-judgmental approach. Refrain from using an overly hostile or dogmatic tone when presenting your perspective to your friend.

      If she feels like you are judging her, she is likely to shut down and completely distance herself from you for fear of future persecution.