- The Tao of Dating Quotes
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- The Tao of Dating: 5 Principles to Overcome Any Challenge in Your Love Life | HuffPost Life
If a relationship is making you miserable and unhappy - like that of my friend Holly who was being put down and punched up by the man she was supporting financially - consider ending it. Because fulfillment is a feeling, not a person. So if you're not getting fulfilling feelings in a relationship, chances are you're with the wrong person. Many people think like this: The proper sequence is: Successful change begins at the level of identity and belief, so first, be the kind of person you want to be.
From the right beliefs will flow the right actions, or te the middle word from Tao Te Ching naturally and effortlessly, from which will come right results. The Taoists say that two poles are necessary for energy to flow: We see this in nature: This is especially true of human relations. Without polarity, relationships fall flat, whether in heterosexual or same-sex couples: As a man, if you take on too much yin, you risk turning into an indecisive wimp, which is not necessarily appealing to women.
Having an open heart is great; just remember to keep your spine also. As a woman, if you take on too much yang, you risk turning into a facsimile of a guy, which may be admirable but not necessarily attractive. Strength is great, but remember that femininity is what draws in the masculine.
Recently a very intelligent woman wrote to tell me she couldn't date guys who were less smart than her, because they bored her. And when she finally found a guy who was smarter than her, she found herself competing with him and putting him down out of insecurity, thereby driving him away. Basically, she could not win. So much pain in dating is self-inflicted and has to do with upholding our own importance or appeasing the ego.
Therefore I will state here without proof that there is no greater waste of your energy than upholding your own importance. Get used to the idea that it just doesn't matter. The Buddhists have this nifty concept called anatta , or no-self.
The Tao of Dating Quotes
It basically means that nothing in the universe has a fixed identity - especially you. If you're breathing and have a heartbeat and just read this phrase, billions of things changed in your mind and body right now. So you're fundamentally not the same you were five seconds ago, let alone five years ago. So quit trying to defend something that essentially isn't there. Whether or not you fully buy into this concept, it's a handy notion: You're also more likely to be kind, compassionate, and fun to be around.
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The Tao of Dating: 5 Principles to Overcome Any Challenge in Your Love Life | HuffPost Life
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