Dating with a brain injury

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  1. Comments (87)
  2. Will Anyone Want to Date Me After a Brain Injury? | BrainLine
  3. Starting or Nourishing Romantic Relationships After Brain Injury
  4. Dating: What You Should and Shouldn't Do
  5. Adam's Favorite Links

Then when I was 39 I had a real bad car exsident cracked my 7 c spinal. Doctors an others didn't think I was going to move or walk again. I had to relearn how to move an walk again, an I did have a difficulty with my fingers a little an I'm walking.

I thank the Lord How are you doing today? I hope awesome and the next pieces have fallen into place. I am looking for a man with TBI cause I think it would be easier to date someone who understands. After my accident im Sep. He assured me it was not due to the accident. Recent Blog Posts Advice for Caregivers: Getting the Help You Need, Now. I am a social worker for the Army. I often wish I could address the general population of females: Thank you for starting here. I'll stay tuned and use these posts as a resource for my guys! Thank you for serving and i was in a coma 21 days and my mood changes and that is what i need to do know that i am 1 of the very fortunate human life comes and it go's.

I need to work on my defects not yours or the next human Just a few weeks ago, I met the man of my dreams. He has depression and social anxiety, so it's been difficult getting through to him lately. But just during the few wonderful times we've spent together, I truly know he's the one for me.

He's had a hard time dating because a lot of women don't see past his challenges. I can see straight into his heart. And there I see the most loving, kind, intelligent, funny, creative, gentle, brave and handsome man I've ever met in my life. I know he's going through a very hard time right now I pray for him every single day, morning and night. He's always on my mind. I won't ever give up on him or ever stop praying for his full recovery and restoration.

I would give anything to hear him laugh, see his amazing smile and stare into his beautiful brown eyes again. One day with him would be worth a lifetime of waiting I am a female with a tbi. It is difficult to believe I can find someone when I have a mild tbi. Depending on the injury.

Comments (87)

He may remember things different as they were.. Due to injury of the brain he will probably be different in many ways. For example I was always very organized etc.. Everything takes such a long time and understanding! If u can get counseling it would be best. For you and for your bf as well as for together when he can handle it. But u should get it soon! Successfully completed the program I find myself looking for a way to get back to the old me.

I was dating my boyfriend for six months and we fell madly in love and moved in together. He recently had a car accident and was diagnosed with severe TBI. I guess my question is what happens if he doesn't remember me? Will he eventually remember me? Can we get back something of what we had? I'm just so lost and dont know how to support him through this.

The man I have been dating suffered a TBI over 5 years ago. We have been together 3 years.


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So much of what has been written is true, except the missing piece is lack of emotion. My boyfriend can function, has a job, drives, and suffers the common short term memory loss, brain fatigue, and the lost feeling. But it is the lack of emotion that has torn us apart. He no longer can feel. Whether happy or sad, the actual feeling can not be felt inside of him.

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He has told me he loves me, but that is from knowing what love felt like prior to his injury. His feelings are dead. He no longer has the zeal for life, and basically goes through the motions.


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  6. I have tried, but this past Sunday I asked him to move out because I felt more like a roommate then someone wanted and loved. It is very sad, because, he will move on and exist, but never really live, and we had a wonderful first year together, but year after year he continues to spiral into a world where being alone is his real comfort. My boyfriend of 5 years was injured in a blast force in Iraq in We have gone through it ALL and come out of it until we had a baby. I understand and feel for you! I get through it by not taking his actions mostly lack of actions personally. People treat us the way we allow them to.

    Lead by example and move forward with your life. Being productive and content with our lives will encourage them to do the same if they want to continue the relationship. Hello, My wife and I have been married for 10 years, we have 4 children. Just over 2 years ago we were in a car accident. She suffered a concussion that was missed by everyone in the medical system.

    She has a lot of symptoms when she doesn't get her brain rest. I didn't understand it at first but i have done a lot of reading and research. I relied heavily on the medical system, which was a mistake. She has brain fog, hemidystonia hands , tinnitus, eye problems, walking problems, balance problems, memory problems, neural fatigue, neuropathic pain in arms and legs, neck problems, muscle problems and so much more. It is heartbreaking watching her go through this.

    In the last few months she has been talking about the new person that she is. I understand that the injury has changed her, i am very supportive. She has told me a few times recently She started this family life, i don't want it" She goes on about leaving sometimes. I know and understand that this is injury talking but it doesn't hurt me any less to hear these words come from my wife.

    Has anyone had to deal with this? Does it get better? I don't know what i would do if she left us. Its hard, tiring and draining mentally, emotionally and spiritually when I have no support. I educated myself a lot about TBI to understand it and get strategies. It does get better if you put the work in to help your spouse get better and progress because this injury takes away their ability to help themselves and their ability to know any better since they literally don't know anything.

    My spouse is a survivor of TBI and has been healing for 8 years now and now WE recovering and overcoming the limitation and effects of TBI together their: It's a burden to carry this load especially alone but it does have the great gift once a TBI SURVIVOR recovers and they do recover in time up to 10 years depending on the encouragement around, support and willingness!!

    Help it gives you some light to an almost hopeless situation because their is hope and love around you guy's!! Hi, not sure if you'll see this, but it's worth a shot. I'm someone who is currently recovering from a TBI and it sounds like I've gone through a lot of what your wife is experiencing. I'm at the point where things are looking up, but it's a long bumpy road to getting there. Is your wife seeing a neuropsychologist as well as the neurologist? I don't know how much they overlap. What about using anti-depressants? I was on Prozac for a while and it really helped me, though I initially was wary of it.

    Diet can be important as well. Something also that could really, really help is vision therapy, if you can find someone near you. As I said, it's a long road and I still go through mood swings, but they get fewer and farther between as I have started to adjust, heal, and accept what has happened.

    Wish you all the best. Is it healthy for relationships to allow your significant other to freely use their cell phone for hours? With TBI, the format is easier to communicate. It feels insulting to be unwanted. My fiance has TBI. Sometimes out of nowhere he cusses me and hurts me mentally How do I handle this. I know this sounds crazy but he doesn't mean it. He is frustrated because either things did not go the way he wanted. I suffer from a TBI from I was 19 years old. I get mad at a drop of the hat. I am 48 years old and things have changed for me but it took a long time.

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    Will Anyone Want to Date Me After a Brain Injury? | BrainLine

    Be patient just know you are a good person and it's not your fault and it's not his. The TBI changed him and there is no going back. I am rn for a pt, tbi. He tells me to go home He used to really smile and be happy when i was there. Cant deal w it! Talk it through with him almost child like since its is a hard pill to swallow for a TBI person to realize they have to be somewhat raised again in an adult form its humiliating, embarrassing, and scary because of the vulnerabilities they realize people can take advantage of.

    I have had a severe tbi, and with it I was diagnosed with something called PBA pseudo bulbar syndrome. We can have damage done to the centers of the brain that control emotions and reactions. Talk to him about the issue. If this isn't the man he was before or isn't a part of him, talk to a doctor. It is most likely part of the brain injury.

    They have medicines to help, as they helped me very much. I have been dating someone for 3 months who had a accident 13 years ago. The first month was loving and spontaneous and he would show lots of affection. But for the last two months he rarely shows any affection or instigates physical contact. Jbhbe spoken to him about this and he said that he did not even realise. I honestly thought that something was wrong with me and it's made me feel very self conscious.

    I have been in a 6 month relationship with a man that had a Subarachnoid hemorrhage 3 years ago. He told me how it effected his memory and gave him bouts of E. I honestly thought the E. His emotional swings and memory issues are the biggest issues. He was cheated on by his ex wife prior to the stoke and has major trust issues. I have always been an independent person and he takes my independence or what appears as of lack of need to him as me having someone else in my life.

    Starting or Nourishing Romantic Relationships After Brain Injury

    No matter what I say or do it turns into an argument that ends up becoming escalated and confusing. Things I said are either not remembered at all and I am "cold" because I ignored his feelings or if they are remembered then the whole conversation is twisted and not at all received correctly. I get frustrated trying to explain because it seems no matter how I try to carefully phrase things to be honest yet as positive as possible it is rarely received as either. If I tell him that he doesn't remember something I said he gets angry and accuses me of picking on him for his memory issues. I feel like I am spinning my wheels.

    Finding this blog has definitely helped me "feel" better but I still don't know how I should handle things differently. I was seriously considering never telling him the truth about how I am really feeling and putting on a happy face all the time I am not sure I can do that, but is that what is required to keep the peace? I've been searching online for a support group. How do I find one?

    Hi Julie, If you want to talk I'm going through the same thing. I looked a little bit for an online support group but didn't find the right one. I am in a very similar situation. I have been with my boyfriend nearly a year. He is wonderful and can be very loving in a way I have never experienced before, but he is very inconsistent and can be rather cold and distant at times with mood swings and burts of anger that are usually - in my opinion - due to some sort of misunderstanding.

    His short term memory is terrible and even with me constantly reminding him of things he drops the ball on a lot of different promises. I have been very frustrated that he cannot remember basic things like my work schedule which is the same every week. He still doesn't know the date of my birthday. He knows the month but can't seem to remember the day which is the 1st. He is chronically late usually by 3 or more hours and sometimes - though rarely - doesn't even show up whether its something he planned with me, a friend, or a family member - nobody gets any special treatment.

    We all see his tardiness as a lack of consideration for our time, but its very confusing because to know him one realizes that he truly has a heart of gold and he seems to mean what he says and intends to do as he says - he just can't keep track of the time and genuinely does not realize how much time has passed. If he promised to do something 3 weeks ago but still hasn't followed through when i bring it up he swears its only been a few days until i show him a calendar and then he becomes angry at himself. I have had such a hard time understanding this until I finally began putting together the pieces.

    Relationships and brain injury: Sexual intimacy in relationships impacted by brain injury

    He is an incredibly intelligent man and very creative, but he cannot hold a job and I'm beginning to realize - at least for the time being - he cannot take care of himself independently. He is also very impulsive and makes poor choices when it comes to money. He cannot plan ahead or manage the mundane tasks of life effectively. What's been bothering me a lot lately is the complete lack of sex. The entire relationship we have had very little sex, but it was somewhat regular for the first month or two perhaps but suddenly he "lost his sex drive" entirely and at this point its been about 7 months I have had such a hard time not taking this personally and its such a delicate subject to being up because he feels poorly about it as the issue is physiological - ED and of this I am sure.

    I think that was an issue in the beginning as well but because it had been a while and it was all new and exciting that gave him some extra steam for a bit. What concerns me in his case is that his TBI happened when he was a baby That was over 30 years ago. I didn't think much of it when he first told me, but lately I began to wonder if there could be something going on in his brain to account for his frustrating behaviors and talking with my own therapist he believes his symptoms sound like brain malfunction.

    Talking with my boyfriend's family I have also learned that he struggled in school due to severe difficulty reading and he needed a school plan to accommodate this. He has always had difficulty with organization when though his parents tried so hard to get him to keep his room straight - they eventually gave up. He is on the verge of what one would consider hoarding behavior.

    Reading remains a challenge for him yet interestingly he is very good with words and has an excellent vocabulary bank, however, often times - almost always - he does not speak clearly - I have to have him respeat himself very often at this point I'm much better at understanding his speech than anyone else though.

    Dating: What You Should and Shouldn't Do

    His family gets frustrated with him and assumes he is just lazy and mumbling, but now I'm beginning to think this is a much deeper issue. Occasionally, usually if he is very tired, he will slur and that is VERY difficult - nearly impossible - to understand. Because he does have a history of drug abuse on top of it all but he has been clean a while now his family accuses him of using again if they catch him slurring. At first I was concerned of the same, but because we now spend so much time together I know that is not the case. I have been crying all morning with the realization that my love most likely has brain damage and has been living misunderstood his entire life and it breaks my heart that nobody in his family thought about this over all these years.

    He is 34 and essentially hasn't left home because he can't take care of himself and would end up living on the streets. Everyone blames him of being lazy and unmotivated, but I'm seeing it very differently now. Reading about TBI and hearing other people's experiences with it has been immensely helpful and reassuring.

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    It is much harder for me to be upset knowing this. Did you ever find a support group? I so am in same position. However some people with acute brain injury. I have found this. He uses his brain injury. He holds his do called mates in higher esteem to me. I have put my life on hold for him. And its all gone out the window.. I feel I have lost. He won't help himself.. His bad influence so called mates. I work hard to keep body and soul together. I am not going. He says I'm first. The neurofilament antibody shows beaded axons since the first moment; over time, they increase their density and diameter as survival time also increases.

    These changes begin in the gray matter, 2 hours after trauma can be seen around vessels and in hemorrhagic areas. At 24 hours, beaded axons appear in the white mater, which finally loses its structure and cellular density.