- 7 Things That Happen When There’s A Language Barrier In Your Relationship | Thought Catalog
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- 7 Things That Happen When There’s A Language Barrier In Your Relationship
- Dating in Your Target Language: The Good
When someone comes from somewhere different than you, they have a whole different outlook on life in general, and there's no better way to experience this than to see their home country through their eyes. Traveling with a partner is a good thing to do in a relationship anyway since it's a great test to see how well you get along.
This applies even for weekend trips to wine country, but add on the added stresses and complications of international travel and you're in for a real adventure. Maybe you need a challenge in your life. Challenges are good for us because they make us step up the plate in different ways, as well as be faced with the fact that we don't know everything there is to know.
When we're never challenged we can even start to get a little rigid or arrogant in our beliefs, because we literally see the world in one way that's the right way. We don't always like this because it means change, but it makes us more developed, more interesting, and more tolerant humans.enter site
7 Things That Happen When There’s A Language Barrier In Your Relationship | Thought Catalog
You can't deny the fact that dating someone who speaks another language sounds a little exotic and exciting. Accents alone can be super hot, so listening to someone talk in a totally different language can definitely be music to your ears. There does tend to be some stereotypes about the exotic foreigner who sweeps the girl off her feet and becomes some sort of once in a lifetime lover.
This might be true, and it might not be. There's probably something associated with the concept that foreign people are often in our lives for shorter periods of time, which makes any relationship seem safer and romantic. If he's going back to his home country at the end of the year you already know that your time is limited so what the hell, no holding back necessary.
Dating someone who speaks a different language probably means that he will be delightfully different than your ex. Your ex might have seemed like he spoke a foreign language in the sense that he was a real jerk who couldn't communicate to save his life, but this guy is different. This guy can communicate just fine, he just can't quite do it with the same words as you. Although to be fair, you might not actually know whether he would be a good communicator if you spoke the same language, since at the moment you still do not speak the same language.
If he seems like a nice guy and he's treating you well, maybe it doesn't really matter what he's saying. You'll be so distracted trying to figure it out that you definitely won't be thinking about your ex-boyfriend, that's for sure. If someone does not speak your language they probably aren't super familiar with your culture either, which means that you get to be the one to show them stuff.
Food comes to mind. You do know that most of the packaged foods and candy we have here are not in other countries, right?
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- 'Speaking a different language to my boyfriend is a strain on our relationship.' - Telegraph.
- dating a person who speaks a different language - relationsips sex problems | Ask MetaFilter.
They've got their Nutella, but maybe he's never had Pringles or Reese's or whatever other very American snack foods you might love. There are really endless American things that you should can delight and disgust a foreigner with. Fairs, water parks, maybe even your favorite fitness class. So much stuff is going to be different than they are used to be seeing, and you get to be the one to try and explain why things they are the way they are to someone who has no clue. Heck, you can even pretend that not interesting things are actually cultural significant if you want.
Show him everything there is to see. It actually might make what you choose to communicate about more specific since it requires more of an effort. That means fewer petty fights about nothing because, well, who has the effort to do that with a language barrier?! When you don't speak the same language, you'll have to get to the heart of the matter quickly when something comes up, which can make the relationship a lot more straightforward.
This also goes in the direction of communicating about the good stuff as well. Basically, you are going to be saying what you really mean and not much other fluffy stuff because a lot of jokes and sayings don't even translate between languages. If he's visiting from another country, he probably has at least some intention of picking up some English.
Not to mention that there are all kinds of words that aren't exactly slang but aren't going to be in the dictionary quite yet. Imagine how confusing it would be for a foreign person to try and understand the words we use to discuss social media. We write on Facebook walls but not normal walls, because that's either graffiti or it will make landlords angry. We follow people on Instagram but in life that's generally considered stalking and punishable by the law. When you're trying to understand each other, making eye contact will be even more important than usual. The good thing about making more eye contact is that it is super hot, and it's an important part of a new relationship, too.
We communicate a lot of things through our eyes, particularly love and lusty feelings. Spending more time making eye contact with people can speed up and intensify the feelings of bonding and falling in love as well, so hope you like this guy.
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It's actually a really good marker of whether you like someone or not, how willing you are to spend time looking into their eyes. Think about it, you do whatever you can to avoid making eye contact with that annoying guy at the gym because once you do he'll never leave you alone again. When some people make direct eye contact with you, it makes you feel exposed and uncomfortable And then with other people, eye contact feels simply wonderful.
- Multilingual Dating: Should I Date Someone Who Speaks Another Language?.
- Dating in Your Target Language: The Bad?
Funny how that works. If he speaks more than one language, he might be a pretty smart dude. Even if he doesn't speak English all that great, he still might speak multiple languages. Some continents have a ton of different languages being spoken in close proximity so people grow up being able to travel and interact with more foreign people.
And some countries just place a higher importance on learning other languages than we do. But whatever he speaks, he'll be smart, because being bilingual actually changes the brain in some pretty powerful ways, like improving cognitive skills that don't even have to do with language at all, as well as decreasing the risk of developing dementia in old age. When someone is bilingual the brain seems to keep both language systems activated at all times, but instead of this becoming a distraction to the brain it actually requires the brain to deal with internal conflict faster so it can become more productive.
But there can also be a lot of inconveniences. Being in a relationship with someone who speaks your target language has lots of benefits. Here are my favourites:. One of the best parts about dating someone in your target language is that you can learn the real life experiences and not from a boring textbook. With a boyfriend or girlfriend, you can practice conversations without the usual fear of making mistakes. Finding a partner who speakers your target language gives you a clear purpose for why you are learning the language.
Many language learners struggle with accountability. If you forget a word, he or she is going to know. If your partner comes from a different country, that usually means new food and a new culture. Both are great benefits in a relationship! You will will open up new perspectives on life as well as open your mouth and enjoy new flavors and spices.
Anyway, before I smash my head on the keyboard for that horrible joke, below are a few things to be aware of when dating someone in your target language.
7 Things That Happen When There’s A Language Barrier In Your Relationship
Communication is crucial in any relationship. Having a foreign partner can lead to a lot of misunderstanding. When you speak your native language, you know exactly what you are saying and what it means. But when you are learning a new language, you often make mistakes. Or maybe you say something that ruins your plans. For example, in Vietnamese, I used to mix up the days of the week. If your partner is too easy on you, you may end up not working as hard as you would if you had a class or a tutor. If they love you for who you are, they may not push you to learn more.
When you go to a store, your partner is the pro. When you go to a restaurant, they do all the ordering.
Dating in Your Target Language: The Good
While this is convenient, it does NOT help you improve your language skills. Learning from your partner can create an interesting dynamics between you the student and your partner the teacher. If your partner is not a certified teacher, they may not be confident and comfortable helping you with the language.
Your partner may not want to be your teacher, so this could lead to a lot of problems as well. Below are the aspects of international relationships that can go both ways, depending on you, your partner and the situation. Personally, I find this fascinating. The more I learn Vietnamese, the more I understand Vietnamese culture and the more I understand my girlfriend.
I understood the jokes, we sang songs together , and it got more exciting. This can be a bad thing, though. Sometimes you can learn things that you may not like. For example, the more I learn Vietnamese, the more I swear in Vietnamese. My girlfriend hates this. You may also discover some things about your partner only when you fully understand the language and culture. Maybe she wants to learn your native language, so you end up doing some sort of language exchange. But again, do you want to be a teacher? Does she want to be a student? If she wants to learn your language, then how can you learn hers?
Are you two going to compete? Is it clear what your expectations are? How many times can you call late at night with a language question? Now, this can be seen as a good thing, as your relationship will force both of you to develop patience with one another.