- 10 Breakup Excuses Guys Give (& How to React)
- Surprising Excuses Women Use to Reject Men | PairedLife
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This guy is actually being pretty honest; he does have some growing up to do. Is this the biggest breakup paradox or what? There might be some truth in this excuse, because if a guy liked you in the first place, he genuinely cares about your feelings, according to Mark Sharp, Ph. Lauren Burkett, a collegiette at Florida State University, said her boyfriend broke up with her using this line. Either way, he is not willing to give you the time that you deserve.
Someone who gives you this line is either too lazy to come up with a legitimate reason or too much of a coward to be honest. According to Lieberman, this is yet another commonplace excuse guys give you instead of telling you the truth. However, Smith has a different approach to this situation. Bottom line, a guy who uses this excuse is looking for the easy way out. Depending on the situation, this can truly mean that the guy is not ready to commit right before the summer — understandably so.
I'm not looking to date anyone at the moment. I don't date people who work in insert profession here ex. I rather not take the chance of a guy cheating on me or playing with my emotions. First of all, more than half of the excuses above apply to men who reject women yes men do reject women Second of all, some of these are actual excuses that I've read and heard from other people, but it doesn't mean they're all legit. A bunch are probably not excuses at all but become misinterpreted negatively by guys due to anger or frustration post rejection.
However I must admit that some of these do come up a lot more than they should. In particular the "lets just be friends" or "it's not you, it me" have been used so often that you'll easily spot them in popular romance flicks or shows. It doesn't mean they're out of bound excuses, but they do appear to be cop outs if you're uninterested. Honesty remains the fairest way to go about a situation, so I'd recommend that over anything. If you're not interested, then go ahead and say you aren't.
I won't assume that you're cruel if you automatically reject someone, but I do believe in being open-minded before that immediate "no"! Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites. I just use one excuse, and it's more of a reason than an excuse: I'm not interested in a relationship.www.tradetoolsfx.com/images
10 Breakup Excuses Guys Give (& How to React)
I just got that "I'm not looking for a boyfriend" line a couple of days ago, and I didn't even ask the girl to be my girlfriend. But I've heard a lot of the others from other women in my past. There's nothing wrong if you choose not to follow it whether by choice or circumstance, and it sounds like you have plenty of good things going on that negate the norms just fine.
Thanks Krzysztof, I did want children and I certainly didn't want to be celibate but given the dating pool in my area it's probably my best choice. I should concentrate on the good things in my life. I have a good job, a nice house, great friends and a loving family with lots of nieces and nephews to spoil. I've always kept myself very fit so my health is good. Just because I'm not attractive to women other than as friends I don't have to be unhappy.
Dating in today's world is very difficult because people don't know what they want. Everyone expects the best, really feel there's been a massive rise in narcissistic behaviors due to social media platforms and social dating. I agree that if things aren't working then you're better off doing things that actually make you happy. It's no big deal to give up on dating seems like most of my friends have given up.
I haven't dated in 15 years and probably will never date again. I decided to give it one last try this year and frankly haven't met anyone I'm interested in. Tried online dating, spent a bunch of time and effort writing to women who couldn't bother to even say they weren't interested. I have better things to do with my time then make myself feel bad so I quit. As someone on another post said "It's a strange game , the only winning move is not to play". I'm sorry to hear that and that's a cold reality in today's world, but also very damaging because more and more men and turning away from relationships like in Japan.
I gave up on asking women out years ago. Never got a positive response so why continue? I think the worst was when they laugh like I'm some joke. I had good friend of mine do that, we had been friends for years and I finally got the courage to ask her out and she laughed at me. I never spoke to her again and it was years before I asked another women out, fortunately she was nicer and just said she wasn't interested. Who cares about differences, both men and women over look the good people and often choose the abusive jerk or an overbearing woman who wants it all her way and it never works out cause they dont come together as a team.
This entire idea is something that's been on my mind for a while and I wanted to share it.
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I've heard so many stories of people dealing with rejection, and they were angry because they wanted honesty. I had my own thoughts on the topic but everyone's experiences were unique, so I never wanted to pick sides. I'd rather be fair and hear everyone out. For my writing, I appreciate all kinds of feedback positive or negative to the point where I even began writing a hub one of my first on why it was important for writers.
I want to dive deeper into the subject matter, but I don't want it to seem overly preachy.
Surprising Excuses Women Use to Reject Men | PairedLife
Thank you for helping me out and giving me needed feedback because I'll always take it in stride. There is no way I can tell you everything I know about honesty, relationships, closure and such, no matter how much I wanted to share it. It's such a long story. Those are not self-help books, however.
There are other ways to achieve closure which do not involve the other person and their input and, especially, their truth. But one important thing I wanted to mention - after I wrote my articles I used to get a lot of feedback and those conversations were the moment when I started thinking about the topic more than before I wrote. It was a thought-starting point and that is a power of writing. If this article is only a beginning in your exploration of the topic, then you've done a good job.
The goal should never be to shatter someone by saying something along the lines of "Never in a million years would I be desperate enough to go out with you! When someone says; "It's not you, it's me" as empty as that sounds it's the truth. They are the one who is unhappy or "not feeling it". They may know it's not anything you've done or said so there is no reason to "make up something" unless you pressured them to. Most people who believe in "closure" are looking to either "fix" things about themselves based on the opinion of their "ex" or they want to "learn" what they can do to avoid the same results in the future.
The very reason why your ex dumped you could be the same reason why the next person falls madly in love with you! If we decided to change with every feedback our "exes" gave us we'd be flapping in all sorts of directions. At some point you have to just be you! Below is my article. Thanks for writing on such an interesting topic! Reading through your experiences gave me a lot to think about and I even removed the word misogynistic because I wasn't comfortable using that word in the first place. It didn't make much sense after taking another look through it and it didn't fit the message I wanted initially.
I did not watch Tootsie but I might check it out to see what you meant though I could understand the gist of it. In all honesty there are no rules and expectations when it comes to dating because everybody's different. Sometimes people are overly sensitive or they don't care what happens, and each situation could shift drastically. I'll have to read your "closure is overrated" because it sounds interesting since I'm a strong believer in closure no matter what it is. I appreciate some of the situations shared in your own relationships because I'm always curious to find out how it varies from own person to the next.
I still believe in the honest approach, which is why I hate some of these excuses even if they're fairly legitimate. It's a form of respect and it doesn't even have to relate to dating. If you tell me you hate me and why in front of my face then I'll respect that a lot more than if you're kind to my face but insult me behind my back. It's very childish and dishonest, but to each his or her own. Again thanks to everyone for sharing and commentating; it was a pleasure reading through everything. Too often people pursue relationships based upon what they've read or been told what they "should be looking for" as oppose to what actually feels right for themselves.
My "closure is overrated" article is designed to help people move on with their lives. Essentially due to her need for closure she blew through the rest of her teens and all of her 20s to get an "explanation" that may not have come!
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Dashing Scorpio, I agree. When I thought of "Toosie" more - the whole movie is about Dustin Hoffman lying to everyone starting from his agent and ending with his girlfriend. Funny thing he didn't intend his lying to hurt anyone. I had my fair share of thinking that if someone rejects me then a truthful explanation is better than "a well-intended" lie.
Maybe in some cases, but certainly not in all. The last boyfriend told me that I was intimidating and had a subtlety of a bulldozer, but, of course, his feeling for me did not change, but he wanted to go back to friends because he couldn't serve his God I even read your article about "closure is overrated" and disagreed. But in that last case I tried to make peace and ended up being hurt more and then I thought - as much as I needed closure, in that case I just cut the cord. But it gave me an insight for the future - stop and examine how exactly I end up with guys like I guess my past experience didn't come to the point that my words sounded so offending to someone..
Women oftentimes have stated what they "want" in a man and if such a guy shows up they put him in "The Friend Zone".
At some point a person has to recognize it's not a "coincidence" that all of their exes are "jerks". Very few admit they're into "bad boys", "arrogant guys" or "players". They just happen to "attract" those guys for relationships. Maybe they've been saying "no" to the wrong people or for the wrong reasons. Are you pursuing your dream or society's dream?
Well, since you invite honesty, I would like to draw your attention to the fact that the word "misogynistic" cannot be applies to excuses themselves. If you feel compelled to do any of the above, ask yourself if you're doing it for them or for you. I have a really hard time knowing people don't like me, but it's unrealistic to expect that an ex is going to just let a breakup slide off their back and switch to being buds with you. Being rejected hurts, angers, and confuses peeps.
The more selfless thing you can do in this situation is be firm with your decision. Remind yourself that feeling anxious, guilty, and conflicted and anything else is OK. It means you care.
Food is Medicine
Don't try to ignore the feelings or tell yourself you shouldn't feel uncomfortable because you're choosing to end it. Be kind to yourself. Anger is a natural reaction to hurt. Remember you're likely not impermeable to insult, so ensure you have supports as well to debrief any negative feedback you receive.
At the end of it all, it sucks for both parties. Hurting someone sucks, and so does getting hurt.
But remember that uncomfortable feelings and difficult experiences are all part of being a human. And, if you feel guilty, it's a good thing — it means you have a conscience. Food has the power to create a happier and healthier world. Celebrity Nutritionist Kelly LeVeque will show you how. Group 8 Created with Sketch. Group 7 Created with Sketch. Email Created with Sketch. Group 9 Created with Sketch. Group 10 Created with Sketch. Group 11 Created with Sketch. Group 4 Created with Sketch. And, here are some runner-up points to help with the transition: Don't try to blame it on something else or you'll just extend the process.
Don't keep sleeping with them if you know they want more. Usually one person wants more.