Focus on the family dating rules


  1. Help, My Teen Wants to Date!
  2. Parents: 4 Dating Basics For Our Sons and Daughters
  3. Editor's Picks
  4. Help, My Teen Wants to Date!
  5. About Family Talk

Senate prayer when he said, " As a result, our young people of today embrace a worldview that is more secular than biblical and more me-centered than God-centered. Yet, as parents, we can help our children get back on a God-honoring path when it comes to dating. It has and continues to be a two-way conversation around what it means for God to be glorified in and through our lives as we become less and Christ becomes more, i. As parents, we need to re-position dating back on a pathway that anchors our teens and adult children to God's ways.

Just as in marriage, dating or courtship needs to be about God's glory and building each other up in Christ. To consider it any less, is setting up a slippery slope where both emotional and physical ties naturally take hold.

Help, My Teen Wants to Date!

Men and women were created for intimacy with one another. Time will never erase this reality. If a man and woman spend time together in close proximity and share their inner-most feelings, things will happen. Even couples with the best-intentions have faltered when boundaries aren't in place. Fail to plan; plan to fail. This may sound like "old school" or something our great grandfathers did. The fact of the matter is that when it comes to love and romance nothing really has changed from one generation to the next. Biologically, our bodies were made to have intimate and sexual relations with the opposite sex.

Sure, times have changed and people have changed with them.

Parents: 4 Dating Basics For Our Sons and Daughters

Yet, if we really believe in the "unchanging" truth found in God's Word that speaks to the sanctity of marriage and the need for sexual purity, we will find ourselves turning some pages back in our history dating books to learn from our great grandparents. I'm speaking to myself and to the men out there. We need to step it up and get back to some biblical basics when it comes to loving our wives and our children.

We need to set the example for our teenage sons and daughters. Our younger men need to uphold our daughters as precious sisters in Christ and protect their pureness. They need to know that real love is not about pleasing yourself. It's all about pleasing God and putting another person's interest before your own. The same goes for our daughters. If we pursue our relationships God's ways, His glory and honor will follow.

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Like most Christian dads out there, my highest priority prayer for my kids has been that they come to know Jesus as their Savior. Not too far behind this prayer is a request for an equally-yoked spouse contingent upon that marriage is within God's will for their lives. To have Christ means everything. My prayer as a father is that my children, whether on the path toward singleness or marriage, will pursue God's ways when it comes to building relationships. Here's the RSS extension.

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Editor's Picks

Don't call too often on the phone or give the other person an opportunity to get tired of you. Don't be too quick to reveal your desire to get married--or that you think you've just found Mr. Wonderful or Miss Marvelous. If your partner has not arrived at the same conclusion, you'll throw him or her into panic. Relationships are constantly being tested by cautious lovers who like to nibble at the bait before swallowing the hook. This testing procedure takes many forms, but it usually involves pulling backward from the other person to see what will happen. Perhaps a foolish fight is initiated.

Maybe two weeks will pass without a phone call. Or sometimes flirtation occurs with a rival. In each instance, the question being asked is "How important am I to you, and what would you do if you lost me? It wants to know "How free am I to leave if I want to? Do not grasp the other person and beg for mercy. Some people remain single throughout life because they cannot resist the temptation to grovel when the test occurs.

Extending the same concept, keep in mind that virtually every dating relationship that continues for a year or more and seems to be moving toward marriage will be given the ultimate test. A breakup will occur, motivated by only one of the lovers. The rejected individual should know that their future together depends on the skill with which he or she handles that crisis.

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If the hurting individual can remain calm, the next two steps may be reconciliation and marriage. It often happens that way. If not, then no amount of pleading will change anything. Do not depend entirely upon one another for the satisfaction of every emotional need.

Help, My Teen Wants to Date!

Maintain interests and activities outside that romantic relationship, even after marriage. Guard against selfishness in your love affair.

Neither the man nor the woman should do all the giving. I once broke up with a girl because she let me take her to nice places, bring her flowers, buy her lunch, etc. I wanted to do these things but expected her to reciprocate in some way. Beware of blindness to obvious warning signs that tell you that your potential husband or wife is basically disloyal, hateful, spiritually uncommitted, hooked on drugs or alcohol, given to selfishness, etc. Believe me, a bad marriage is far worse than the most lonely instance of singleness.

Beginning early in the dating relationship, treat the other person with respect and expect the same in return. A man should open doors for a woman on a formal evening; a woman should speak respectfully of her escort when in public, etc. If you don't preserve this respectful attitude when the foundations of marriage are being laid, it will be virtually impossible to construct them later. Do not equate human worth with flawless beauty or handsomeness! If you require physical perfection in your mate, he or she may make the same demands of you.

Neither of you will keep it for long. Don't let love escape you because of the false values of your culture. If genuine love has escaped you thus far, don't begin believing "no one would ever want me. Millions of people are looking for someone to love. The problem is finding one another! Regardless of how brilliant the love affair has been, take time to "check your assumptions" with your partner before committing yourself to marriage.

About Family Talk

It is surprising how often men and women plunge toward matrimony without ever becoming aware of major differences in expectations between them. Sexual familiarity can be deadly to a relationship. In addition to the many moral, spiritual, and physical reasons for remaining virgins until marriage, there are numerous psychological and interpersonal advantages as well. Though it's an old-fashioned notion, perhaps, it is still true that men do not respect "easy" women and often become bored with those who have held nothing in reserve.

Likewise, women often disrespect men who have only one thing on their minds. Both sexes need to remember how to use a very ancient word. Hall wrote a song in which he revealed an understanding of the concept we have been describing. His lyric read, "If you hold love too loosely then it flies away; if you hold love too tightly, it'll die.