The reappearing act dating

Most Helpful Guy

  1. Now you see him… now you don't! The case of the reappearing Ghost.
  2. Most Helpful Girl
  3. Topic: Now you see him… now you don't! The case of the reappearing Ghost.

Ignore is generally the best advice. I think it is because this inconsistent behaviour shirrs up our emotions and feelings. Pull and push, sweet and sour.. But ladies, while we might love them and go mad about them very few of us would want to marry these type of guys.. I think women who are ready to start a family will not fall for this type or this behaviour. Only those who are not thinking anything serious would.

At least I hope this is the case. But, how you defined a ghost? I mean, if you have been talking with a person for almost 2 months. Meet him in person, continue talking after that but the frequency of contact lowered at some point to the point of being no contact for 4 days. When you define he is a ghost. How long you should wait to see if he is really one or not? So, neither I nor he own each other nothing. Ghosting is hard to define, it is largely based on what you had with this person before. Disappeared for more than week without an explanation or a warning. And later he reappears as if nothing happens, no sorry I was out of touch, sorry I did not write because..

It is easier to say what is NOT ghosting. If you messaged a few days, then met once and the person disappeared, it is not nice, it can easily be avoided and dealt with in an adult manner, but given the dozens and dozens of people doing online dating, these days it is almost acceptable. I never do that myself, because it only takes me a minute to type a message. Karemm, Why would we yell at you? I think is very hard to define.

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For me , my question is valid but I can honestly confess I declare myself ignorant from dating rules and this American Culture. I live in the US but originally from other country. And all this dating world have been very different from what I saw on my home country. So, despite I have 40 years old I am very ignorant of this dating process. I am trying to read as much as I can to learn, and I am thankful I found this website with so many different perceptions of the same reality. You commented to one of my post before, and I thank you for that.

Now, I am guessing if I can put the current man on the vanished list or not. As I explained before, we were crossing emails for almost 2 months, practically every day. Then, he asked for my number, started texting and after that, calling. Very consistent to be fair. After 6 weeks , he finally drove to meet me in person. Then, continue calling and texting. And that is when my question came up. DO I have to wait to see if something happened to him?

I am keeping myself intact and doing nothing. But, I am too naive for believing all his words when he was planning just to disappear? Sadly, some guys just fade away after a few weeks. Not to worry though, try meeting people in your area. I understand online dating is very popular now a days but, I really think people need to get from behind that computer. Meeting and interacting in person is much better. Although no way of meeting men will guarantee no ghosting.

It hurts like hell, specially when you already have some feelings for them. I know people that for whatever reason stopped dating and reconnect after even years and end up marrying, but they usually end things up on good terms. I have never met anyone that has a successful relationship with a ghost. I will certainly come and tell you if I ever do. But time will cure this. I am resenting it specially after he saying so many things and even make plans or propose places to visit next time. It was just last week when he told me he has been feeling more comfortable telling me things but still a little bit nervous when calling.

Said he was extremely attracted to me, to my perseverance and ambition. You think he is starting to even admiring you, not only physical but behind superficial, and then this? Why tell that and then just disappear? That makes you feel you are not really important for them. You are on their backup list or they were lying all the time.

Ghosting has happened to me once. I got pretty peeved about it because, come on. Girls are not as soft as they think. I am not the type for him to keep me on the sidelines. Karen it would be a red flag to me that a guy says they like online dating because it means that they want a virtual reality without anything real. It also means that they are not very socia, as in sociopathy. Not being social is not a good thing at all especially in a relationship.

You want to avoid these types of people. Maybe all he wanted was a virtual reality, maybe he got started with someone else now.

Now you see him… now you don't! The case of the reappearing Ghost.

Anyhow, to find the serious ones, you have to meet them pretty soon, not this emailing, texting back and forth but meeting as soon as possible as I am sure you want a real relationship. How is ghosting defined to me is when you lose contact with someone for apparently no reason you can guess. If you agreed on distance or thinking it over, it is not ghosting. It is ghosting when you think you are talking and the guy disappears completely on you.

The lenght of time can really vary depending on the circumstances. In a relationship or very serious dating close to exclusivity or LDR I would define ghosting when the guy disappears for more than two-three days. It depends on their pattern too. If you are used to daily communication, one day is fine, two-three is fine if they have said they will be busy for whatever reason.

I do not initiate and I find it normal that the style can vary because if I was the one starting, some days I would not write at all or just a quick text. That said in a relationship you do sort of want contact pretty much daily, at least as much as a text or email saying how are you how was your day, hugs or whatever. Again days arenormal, if they are gone on vacation or business, work related event, maybe even a bit more but you want at least something minimal at the most every four days or so.

Both things count making plans for a meeting and touching bases a bit in between. If someone disappears when nothing has developed yet, it is not truly ghosting.

Most Helpful Girl

As far as you initiating contact, if you have been in an exclusive relationship, then you can send a short text or email after say two days but no pestering, calling, double texting, etc. Normally you should expect to hear back within a few hours. If you have not been in an exclusive relationship then you should not be initiating contact. Belle,, that make sense.

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I cannot say we have a stablished relationship. This supposed to be courting phase.. But honestly maybe I was blind of red flags. The social thing came after I asked him at the beginning why he was at eharmony.. But yes, maybe he is doing the same with the next one and I was placed on back burner. As Andre puts it, "We do damage, leave … and then we reappear.

The time after a break up can be very tough for you, however, it can also be tough on your ex-boyfriend. Most men can pick up and move on from a break up in what seems like an instant. A man will immerse himself into new experiences as a coping mechanism. So why do men almost always come back? Going through the whole getting to know each other phase with another girl is sometimes a hassle. Guys would rather go back to their comfort zone you before starting all over again.

Topic: Now you see him… now you don't! The case of the reappearing Ghost.

Sex Not just Sex. No man wants to give up good sex.

How Guys Should Act On A First Date Vs. How They Do Act

If there was a good physical relationship, it's a good reason for him to return. Is the woman able to separate the physical stuff that works in the relationship with the emotional aspects that may be lacking? This is especially true if he was getting some with you on a consistent basis. Sometimes it can be a comfort thing.

A post shared by LaLa lala on May 1, at 7: The only thing better than meeting a new woman is meeting an old girlfriend who now seems way more awesome than she was when you were with her. The Do-Over When it comes to relationships, most men are experiential learners and they learn more by making mistakes. After they've made a few, they end up altering some things behavior, patterns etc.