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By their 40s, they know exactly what they want, they say. After a shared drink, they become a bit more frank about their motivation. Older women know what they want and cut through the foreplay of drinks and chat when looking for sex. If they like what they see and you can hold their attention in conversation, they will tell you what they want.
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Young men in several other bars seem more cavalier — they talk the talk of "hunting a cougar" but seem more interested in the women at their tables. In one case, a man walks up to two older women standing at a tall table and, after a brief conversation, enters a number in his phone. He smiles when he sits.
A similar excursion for a young male reporter is exponentially harder. Interviewing can often be a process of lightly flirting as you work your way to a deeper truth, but in this game people are here to hunt and can see through anyone trying to fake it. There can be no worse game-killer than a mention that you are a journalist delving into a person's mating habits. The first success comes at a bar counter. It is always less intimidating to talk to one person. But the brunette asks: She has been divorced for "a couple of years" and says she is not looking for anything serious, "just fun".
She is coy about her age, but volunteers that she is under She looks much younger than that upper mark. She came with two friends but they went elsewhere. She does not want to be too far from home. This cub moves on. No-strings-attached fun Cougar was only recently accepted by the Oxford English Dictionary as something other than a North American wild cat. Its meaning has been extended to: An older woman seeking a sexual relationship with a younger man. She's at her sexual peak and not just proud of her age but ready to flaunt it.
But this definition is problematic. Rights groups say it is sexist branding — a woman looking for sex is seen as an aberration and needs to be branded. A man doing the same thing is "just a man". However, there is a rarely used label for an older man on the prowl — a manther. One informal definition calls this "a man who carries an unusually fat wallet, wears too much cologne and dresses younger than his age". There are clearly a few manthers on the prowl — buying drinks for young girls who smile, running a hand along their arms and then leaving for greener pastures.
They look as if they are having a midlife crisis and are trying too hard to do what the women achieve effortlessly. A group of three older women sitting together laugh at the suggestion that they are cougars. We don't label what we do. How are we any different from all the other people you see here tonight?
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Having fun They are here to hang out with friends and are hostile to any further questioning. Bartenders at two bars laugh at the suggestion that their establishments are frequented by cougars. They normally come in when the sun is setting and have light suppers — salad is a winner — while drinking wine before moving to cocktails. The talk on this particular cold night in July is rarely of sex — people say they are here to "have fun".
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But the image painted in songs and films is all about sex and an older woman hunting down a partner for this duet. Popular culture's first take on the cougar seems to be the s film The Graduate. In it, Anne Bancroft seduces a much younger man. The cougar title has kept growing in stature. When Demi Moore started dating Ashton Kutcher, 15 years her junior, celebrity sites ran with headlines like "cougar Demi Moore dating yet another toy boy".
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But even with the excitable headlines, cougars are becoming mainstream. Marlo Jordan, the current American holder of the Miss CougarLife title, says the attraction to younger men is simple. Create Account Lost Your Password?