Dating a man who makes less than you

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That will give you an indication of how he might respond to you making a similar move! Can you accept him as he is, right now, without any expectation that he will change? Do not date for potential. Are you ok going on dates that he can afford? Interclass relationships are becoming commonplace as women continue graduating from college at higher rates than men. Chances are you could fall in love with a man who makes less than you do!

BMWK, what do you think? Should women date men who make less than they do? Your email address will not be published. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. I just graduated college, so I'm working a couple part time jobs until I can find a "real" job, and I know many people my age are in the same boat. If there's no ambition, however, that's a problem. I'm constantly working to better myself, and it's pretty important to me that a partner does the same.

At this point in my life no. I'm a full time student with a part time job, if he was making significantly less than me he'd be making practically nothing. Later on in life when I've gotten a better or at least a full time job I would consider it if we got on well enough. It's not about having expensive gifts or anything like that, it's about being able to split the bill when we go out or picking it up once in a while I would do the same.

I don't expect to be treated all the time without picking the bill up myself sometimes. As long as we can make the bills, I don't care. I'm going into a high-paying career so it's likely it'll happen. I've never dated someone who made less than me before but I have a very brief dating history and an even more brief employment history.

Considering how crappy my job is, it would be really hard to find someone who makes less than me. But, yes I would still date them. It depends on what he's doing. Such paths often pay crap early on if they pay at all but they indicate that he has similar values to those I hold and is invested and interested in his work. Is he just sort of drifting through a dead end job and living for the weekend? No, I would not date someone like that. That's not how I live, that's not what I want to be, and that difference would cause a problem eventually.

You know, I thought it would be a yes. But it's a no.

I clawed my way through poverty in college and grad school, and finally out of poverty after grad school. I'm enjoying not panicking over every unplanned or non-food purchase, as well as having a set amount of my paychecks going towards investing. Roughly equal is where I like to be. Currently no, because the only way a man could make significantly less than me is if he is unemployed or is only working part time. The exception would be is if he is currently in school, or actively pursuing better work.

I'd say it really doesn't bother me, so long as he is able to support himself; I'm unfortunately not in a position where I can afford to provide for two people, so hopefully he'd be contributing something. I don't see it as an issue. I'm in my second year of accounting at a local university and in a couple more ears I plan to be a CPA.

At that point I will be making a much larger income than him and we are both okay with that.


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He likes job, I like mine, and we can support our family doing what we love. There's really nothing more to it than that. So long as he's paying his bills, it wouldn't be an issue for me. I'd much rather be the main provider and let my future spouse be the homemaker while working part-time. Domestic maintenance doesn't interest me, and I love working. I've dated men who made significantly less money than me.

Two of them adjusted pretty quickly into the mentality of, "What's mine is mine and what's yours is ours" and pretty soon I was picking up the tab for everything. One of the two combined that with the charming attitude of being insulted and resentful because I was emasculating him by being more visibly affluent.

I drove a newer car and lived in a nicer apartment, with a roommate. In both cases, although my salary was higher, our disposable income was about the same--I just didn't spend all my money on bullshit, and they did. And dating me seemed to give them a reason to feel justified in spending their money on bullshit and expecting me to pay, because I was making more money.

Needless to say, those relationships had no future. I would be absolutely fine with dating someone who made less money than me IF they had their finances under control and lived within their means. Dating me should have no financial impact on your life, you didn't suddenly win the lottery and it's not suddenly my job to provide you with the lifestyle to which you'd like to become accustomed. Comfortable, but hardly wealthy. I am comfortable, I don't need anyone else's money, and I live a reasonably frugal life, so if I paired up with someone, then hey, we'd have a lot more disposable income to make both of our lives better.

But any kind of dynamic where one person thinks, "You need to work more so I can have more stuff," that is not acceptable. I make quite a bit more than my boyfriend Idgaf and neither does he. He can support himself and that's all I care about. My ex made slightly less than me. He would make a big deal about it which was annoying to me because I could care less.

I would as long as he knew how to handle his money. If he relied on me for everything and didnt make am effort to advance in his job id get fed up. If he was working fast food but working to do better things and handled his money well id be fine too. All I want is to live comfortably and if both incomes combined allowed that and he wasn't lazy and slacking I'd be fine with it! I am totally fine with this, he says he is but I suspect he isn't.

He's making good money. I am a stripper and men who date strippers that do not make as much or more than us tend to use us for our money. I'm not a cash machine. I make what I make for me and my pleasure. My man is financially independent like me or there is no relationship. There is no sharing of accounts. There is no lending of money unless I want to and do not expect it back. Same goes to my friends. If you are not financially independent or at least have a stable income, how do you expect to join me in any activities we could do together if they cost any amount of money?

I won't pay for everything just because you want to come along or because I want you to join me. I've paid for broke friends too many times and I've had to dump them. Just because I make a lot of money does not mean I will pay for you every time we do things. They can find me when they are more stable financially so we can do more things together. Same for a man. If I do every once in a while, it's because I want to and I love you, but I will not be financially responsible for anyone other than myself.

If I had kids, I'd be financially responsible for them and myself until they were old enough to get a job and support themselves. Being friends and lovers with people who make the same or more money than I do not only eliminates the need for anyone to bum off of me, it makes me more determined to make more money and do better in my life.

Like attracts like, financially responsible people attract people who are financially responsible. There was a time when I was broke and all my friends were broke, too. That was fine, but ever since I began making more money, those broke friends would ask me to buy them all kinds of crap and I've had to sever many friendships because of it. Now, I have new friends who are financially stable and independent and the friendships are much more fulfilling and much less needy. I get to travel with them because they can afford it, I get to go out to bars and restaurants without worrying about the cost, I tip very well and I can afford to go out, go shopping, buy gifts, etc.

Broke friends and lovers, while romantic and lovely people, usually cannot afford to do the things I want to do with friends and lovers. Sometimes, I will pay for others because it's just fun and nice. But not all the time. If I were a millionaire I'd probably be down to pay for someone's life. Then yes I would date a man who earned less. However if I earned a normal amount of money then no. The way I think of it is, if I were super rich and let's say I had a child I would still be able to support myself.

Independent of a mans salary. However since I'm probably never going to be super rich, a man earning probably more than me is much more viable. We both have similar values and both agree that I would stay at home with the kids and he would go to work. So it would be better if we live at the salary and rate he can earn when I'm not in work for those first years of the child's age. When working my salary would go into savings, buying extras like holidays, extra clothes, technology, extra savings, house stuff.

And his salary would pay bills and be for main necessities. So when I'm out of work he would be able to sustain us until I can go back to work. Him earning more is just more reliable and constant. However I'm not saying this is a lifestyle for everyone and I do not judge families who choose to have the man stay at home or have different dynamics. Our dynamic is just a little old fashioned. And no we're not religious. Just how we ended up working with each other. If it works for you and your partner, it works. Hell yeah for knowing what will work for the two of you!

If I made a lot of money, yes. That can't cover the bills in my city, and I can't support two people in my city either. As long as he could survive on it. I pretty much live paycheck to paycheck, so if he made significantly less than me he'd probably be in financial trouble. But I have no problem dating people who aren't making much. A guy who was making less than I am right now would probably have to be unemployed ngl.

If I was financially stable in a secure job then sure, as long as he was responsible with the money he had and he didn't expect that I would quit to be a stay home mom, because that would not be financially feasible if I was the main breadwinner. Heck, if I was making enough money, I wouldn't complain if he wanted to be a stay home dad while the kids were too young for school.

Someone's gotta look after them while mom brings home the bacon: My boyfriend isn't making anything right now. Lost his job, went back to school, we met there. He wasn't making much at all. I graduated, he's still there, I'm making all of the money right now. It was never a factor. What is or isn't in his pocket never changes who he is. It's not like he sucks with money which is a deal breaker or is unemployable even then, depends on the reason. With that said he was also very careful with money and was able to contribute to the relationship in financial terms.

Would I have married him at that stage? Shit happens to people, but for the grace of god of I etc. But he contributed so much in non financial terms, e. He'd cook dinner, come pick me up from work, and was my best partner I think. I'm a few years older than my bf, and I make more than twice of what he does as my career is more established. He also didn't go to college right after HS, while I did, so right now he can only look for jobs that doesn't require a Bachelors.

Honestly, it doesn't bother me as he's self sufficient and has a handle on his finance. He racked up some credit card debt when he was younger, but is now paying it back without any more frivolous spending. The fact that he is responsible with his money matters more than the actual amount he makes, also the fact that he is hard working and has good work ethics is important. He did feel pretty bad about it when we just started dating, like he couldn't take care for me, but that's simply not the case. There is so much more than money that a good partner can give you. I've always been self-sufficient anyway, and I never thought of a bf as a bread ticket, but an equal partner.

I just keep reminding him that I'm proud of him for working and going to school full time to better himself. I make my own money, I don't need money from my boyfriend. Most of the men I've dated made less than me. There may likely be a time in the future when I make more than my husband, but whatever.

It's all going into the same pot. We have the same financial goals. It's a joint effort. Less, but comparable, sure, but I would also take into consideration their field, goals and dreams, and plans of action. When there is a large gap in salary, problems are bound to arise in most cases. I wouldn't want to cover a lot of couple expenses, but wouldn't want him to feel pressured to pay for things he couldn't afford. I think it all depends what the difference in income is and how he and I would handle the situation. Significantly- no, a little bit of difference is fine.

Not because he's a man If I was a man I wouldn't date a significantly poorer woman , but because having already dealt with the experience it's a heavy burden to overcome in a relationship.

The income linked to the happiest marriages

Simply because I want a certain lifestyle and someone who is going to be always at my side should be able to or interested in maintaining a similar level. Honestly until things start to get pretty serious how much each party earns is none of the others business. Most guys I date are about 40k in the hole for uni, I'm years away from marriage though.

I couldn't get serious with someone incapable of managing their money whether it's excess or debt. I'd be fine if they were freelance or a job that allows them to work at home, but I think I'd actually find it difficult to be with someone who was working long hours away from home. To me, so long as they're responsible with the money and we're not in financial trouble, I'm okay with being the only one earning money, on the condition that they pull their weight in other ways housework, kids, pets, running errands, etc.

That being said, I'm a huge believer in the idea that if a relationship isn't working, you should end it as soon as possible after trying to make it work, obviously , and I would hate the idea of a guy not feeling he could leave because he was financially dependent. So I'd want him to have some form of savings at least, and some way of earning money if he did want to work. Particularly if the wage difference made him feel obligated to do all the cooking and cleaning. I felt like a reached a significant milestone in my career when I decided that all I care about my partners income is that they are self-sufficient.

I don't need a breadwinner, I do that for myself. I also think it'd be awesome to have a partner that's willing to stay home with any potential future children. I love the idea of stay at home parents, but I don't think I'm cut out for that. I probably make at least twice what my boyfriend does, but he has no debt and owns a house inherited , so I don't feel like it's tremendously unbalanced.

I make significantly more than my boyfriend now. It makes no difference to me, but he definitely feels strange about it at times. I would love it if my SO made significantly more than me! Currently she's watching our youngest grow during the days, and once that's done I think she's going back to work?

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Our finances sure could use it! My bf used to earn less than I had. I inherited a 6 figure sum from my father's death and my bf was in debt and working as a pizza delivery guy through uni. I paid for almost everything then. Now he is debt free apart from to me, he's paying me back , and earning more than me because the graduate job market hasn't done me any favours.

My mother was always the breadwinner in my family so I've never seen any issue with it. My family was very post-feminist. He would have to be massively comfortable with it. If he didn't try to belittle me or lower me so he could feel more comfortable, I'd be totally okay with it. We'd have to agree about our contributions to household income too and there would be a prenup.

My boyfriend and I are quite happy together no matter how much he or I makes. Whether he makes less or not makes no difference because him and I are a team and if one is struggling the other is there to help and vice versa. Be happy with your partner no matter the money each other makes. It wasn't a huge issue. Other people made a bigger deal of it. He was finishing up college, I had my job. We broke up because his further schooling that would make his jobs more lucrative were long distance and we were unable to stay close - our schedules got crazy so calling was a bit of a joke.

He's a great guy and will make someone very happy - where he lives and works. I'm still friends with him and very much like knowing he's doing well. It really depends on the two people in the relationship and the people they keep around as friends and family.

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Would you date a man who makes significantly less money than you? : AskWomen

I wouldn't mind, but I would be worried about resentment from him. My last boyfriend was constantly between jobs and made a lot less than I do. I didn't mind at first because he would take care of things at home cleaning and stuff and I'm not really into going out anyway, but after a while it felt like he was resenting me. He'd make snide comments any time I bought something for myself, and after that he just plain took advantage of me. Didn't try at all to get a job anymore, didn't pull his weight at home, just lumped around and let me pay for everything until I dumped his ass. I'm not with someone who makes slightly more than me, but we're both comfortable and it's nice.

I don't worry about somehow offending him with my purchases or anything. If he is established in his position, and he's happy with what he's doing, and our bills are paid, then I could really not care any less about who makes more. However, if he's just barely skating by and constantly complaining about being broke and expecting me to pay for everything That would be a problem. It was never really an issue. I paid for a lot more of our outings, which wasn't a problem for me.

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We never really talked about it; I just took that initiative. Yeah, I am right now. I am the main breadwinner for our home, I pay the mortgage, cable, and water. He makes about half what I make; he pays the electric and we split the cell phone bill. Then we have our own car payments, car insurance, credit card payments, whatever else. We alternate who pays when we go out to eat. It's not a big deal to me. It will be nice when he makes more and can contribute more financially, though.

He is up for a promotion with a big raise this weekend, I hope he gets it! As long as he lives within his means and is smart with his money yes. I would also hope that he can participate in activities I enjoy. I live fairly frugally and always will even if I become rich. However, I do like to go to the theater, take hobby classes and go out to eat once a month. As long as a guy can participate some of the time, I would be thrilled.

I don't need him to buy me anything, just dont mooch of me! If I was incredibly rich then it wouldn't matter to me. But if I earned a normal salary, then no. I would prefer he made more. You would have to work really hard to make less money than I do right now. I've had relationships that didn't really involve doing things that cost money so I guess it could work. Define "significant" fiance currently makes less then me now but we both make over that threshold where either of us would be really comfortable on our own so it's a bit of a moot point.

Yes, at least he'd have a job. I definitely wouldn't if he rather just stay at home while I work. Sure, I would and I have.

Why do women run when men have financial problems? -- STEVE HARVEY

Currently my SO makes less than a quarter of what I do, it's not that big a problem once we figured out finances. However if they were never going to make much more that would be a bit worrying for me in terms of how we'd afford things, given that "significantly less than me" is quite low. Exceptions would be someone in grad school, an internship, in between jobs after getting laid off, etc. More important is having similar financial goals. I'm into saving, investing and setting up passive income streams. I want to retire early or have the means to switch to part-time work at some point.

Someone being on the same page means they see money as a tool to gain security, time and freedom, not just objects. It also means they have prioritized income to where they make a decent wage and have the means to save. I'm still young but I seem to always make more than they guy I'm with. It has never has never caused any problems for me. At this point in my life, no. I'm not quite poverty-stricken, but I live on relatively little. As a twenty-something, I still budget to have a little fun, but I don't have much disposable income.

That being said, for a man to make significantly less money than I do, would probably make him homeless. At the very least, he wouldn't be able to go out and do things with me. I'm a "go Dutch" kind of girl, so dating a guy who can't afford to go out to eat or see a movie with me just isn't worth it.

I don't care once he can support himself. It kinda sucks to have all that pressure and there's no way to have him think otherwise. I have no issue with making more money than. I prefer not significantly less though, I don't make much myself. On my current salary it'd be really hard to be the main breadwinner if we lived together.

But I'm a teacher in Arizona a conservative, fuck the poor and fuck public services state so considerably less than me would mean, well poverty. Would I date a man in poverty? Yes, if he had an active plan for getting out of poverty. Shit, I'm close enough as it is! I can't be the sugar momma when even I don't have any sugar. I'm dating a guy who doesn't have a job at the moment and didn't have a job when I met him. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. Log in or sign up in seconds. Submit a new text post. Get an ad-free experience with special benefits, and directly support Reddit.

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The median income for a lot of places isn't that high, regardless of gender. Just because you have this problem doesn't mean everyone does. Thanks for explaining so well how I feel about this! I make 18k per year. TIL that pilots don't make as much as I thought they would. I supported my ex-husband and our kids for awhile. Basically idle hands are dangerous. Sounds like you're my kind of people! I'd be dating a homeless man In the future when I am making more money, I would have no issues with it. I expect guys to manage their own half of the bills. A few thousand dollars difference annually wouldn't be a problem though.

He's still generating an income, so why not? My last boyfriend was unemployed when I met him so was bringing in next to nothing. But yes I would and have dated someone making less than me. It's a non issue, really.