Two best friends start dating

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  1. Dear Straight Up! My Best Friends are Dating and I Feel Like a Third Wheel
  2. Two best friends start dating - Murmuration
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    My two best friends started dating.

    Dear Straight Up! My Best Friends are Dating and I Feel Like a Third Wheel

    What's wrong with me? I don't know why it makes me so angry when I think about it. Of course I'm happy for them, but for some reason thinking about it makes me feel angry, which, in turn, makes me feel inferior. What is wrong with me? I can't put my finger on it but just seeing the two of them together drains my energy completely. I become irritable and off-putting.

    I know there's nothing against me at all and I'm not jealous of either of them It just makes me bitter and I shouldn't be at all. I can't say they'll be great together.

    Two best friends start dating - Murmuration

    Thinking about the two of them puts me in a mentality that's so unlike me. I've been in your situation and what you are feeling is 'left out'. They have hooked up and you love them both but they've put each other before you. You're feeling angry, hurt and rejected. The good news is you can do something about this. Reach out to new friends. You will always have these two in your life but it will never be the same as it was before.

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    Find new people and split your time. One of the best parts about relationships is getting to learn about the other person for yourself. If either party talks to you about a problem, just listen.

    Are best-friend partners better partners?

    Both of these people are your friends, and if a problem arises in their relationship, they may want to vent to you or seek out advice. You also know the other person so well, after all. Let them rant about the other person without judgement, as they are in a different relationship with your friend than you are. You are not in a place to make decisions for them. After you listen, remain neutral. It may be tempting to secretly or not so secretly side with one friend due to being friends longer, ovaries before brovaries, etc.

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    Unless one party has done something particularly horrible or abusive, be Switzerland. Wave your white flag and stay out of the fight. Set up some ground rules.

    If you do the above and one or both of the parties keep asking you for insider advice, to yell at the person for them, or perform any other middle man duties be firm and say no. Tell them your job is not relationship referee. Remind each person that you were friends with them individually before they became a couple and no matter how their relationship ends, whether in flames or in wedding bells, you would like it to stay that way.

    All in all, not being a middle man boils down to direct communication. Whether you are playing a middle man in a relationship, a work environment, or in between friends, you could be doing more harm than good.