- Hook-Up Culture – A Truer Story
- Does hookup culture differ on Catholic campuses?
- Different types of Catholic cultures
- How Does Catholic Identity Affect Hookup Culture?
Kathleen Bogle also noted in her Hooking Up that minorities tend not to participate in hook-up culture. Again the typical narrative is a not the story. Hook-up culture is often violent.
The opening story that captures the stereotypes about hook-up culture makes it seem as though people have sex without consequences, neither positive ones, like a relationship, nor negative ones, like rape or assault. Yet, the more accurate story of hook-up culture is that it is fraught with abuse. Women said universally that hookups could not exist without alcohol, because they were for the most part too uncomfortable to pair off with men they did not know well without being drunk.
Hook-up culture results from people inoculating themselves through alcohol against clear decision making, enabling them, at least momentarily, to disregard their broader interests. Thus, the statistics should not surprise us that lots of people do not participate and lots of people participate once or rarely. Thus, the story of hook-up culture is a lot more disturbing.
The story that hooking-up is frequent, desirable, pleasant, and without consequences masks its true ugliness. They pretend it is fun yet numb themselves to any enjoyment through alcohol. It often results in coercion if not rape. The truthful story is that it is not so much about sex but about a culture that fosters behavior that is damaging to people.
Surely, this culture can change.
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The first step, I think, is getter the truer story of hook-up culture heard. Jason King is Professor of Theology at St.
Hook-Up Culture – A Truer Story
Vincent College in Latrobe, PA. He is also editor of the Journal of Moral Theology. His Faith with Benefits: You can follow him in Twitter kingjasone. For his other works, see his Academia page. He loves donuts, as do his three kids. Almost everyone—regardless of gender or sexual orientation—told me they want old-fashioned romance. With hook-up culture any communication that happens tends to be sexual and drunken. But when they have sex, they want to be in love with that person.
They want someone to know them. They want hundreds of candles lit.
They would like endless nights of romance first. Basics like asking somebody out seem impossible to them. People think girls have become frat boys. Ariel Levy in Female Chauvinist Pigs Free Press talks about how this is, again, about the difference between perception and reality. The myth today is that all women love sex and porn. They feel ashamed and uncomfortable. I taught a course on my study last year, and I had the most left-wing students you can imagine.
Does hookup culture differ on Catholic campuses?
She turned to Orthodox Judaism and its modesty laws as a way out of hook-up culture. She talks about modesty being a virtue and about drawing boundaries. They felt they had to go along with behavior that made them uncomfortable. They feel it gets in the way of real relationships. But there is a stigma among guys about critiquing hook-up culture. Expressing an interest in romance or dating is a mark against them, while hooking up is how they prove their masculinity to other guys. They felt trapped as well.
Different types of Catholic cultures
The issue is that hook-up culture rules the day. The social ethic is so powerful that students are afraid to say anything against it. College students also feel that they are more or less abandoned to deal with sex on their own. The administration, residential life, and other adults are afraid of scandal.
They worry about admissions and about parents finding out what is happening on campus. It would be like admitting guilt. I get to be the messenger. They can take my book and the stories that are in the book and evaluate all these different topics with a little bit of distance, without implicating their college in the process.
It just perpetuates the gulf between what the campus is preaching officially—as well as what almost all students want—and what students are actually doing. There needs to be a precollege sex talk—and not just a sex talk but a relationship talk: Are you ready for this? Do you know about hook-up culture?
Do you want this in college? Do you know how to ask somebody out? Parents should also assess the sexual and relationship climates during the campus tour.
How Does Catholic Identity Affect Hookup Culture?
That may sound strange, but one of the biggest things students said could make or break their college experience was sex and relationships. Parents should even ask—maybe when their kid is not in the room—if people date at the college. A lot of students have romantic ideals from the movies or their parents. Many know how their parents met and fell in love in college. I asked every Catholic what the church teaches about sex. Generally people laughed in my face. I got sarcastic remarks: I asked Catholics what they learned about dating in church or CCD, and they looked at me like I had three heads.
That says that they feel very alone in terms of being able to talk about religion in a personal way. But in journals students wrote thousands of words. Not quite as low as the 30 percent on very Catholic campuses, but 10 percent lower than on mostly Catholic campuses. In certain cliques, in certain social circles, it does. Overall, fewer students hooked up on Catholic campuses than on campuses in general.
It was just that a Catholic culture had an impact on the ways in which students thought about hooking up. Ads are currently disabled. Please sign in with Facebook or Google below: If you have an older Salon account, please enter your username and password below: Dragon Images via Shutterstock Does hookup culture differ on Catholic campuses?