- When Do I Tell Someone I’m Dating That I’ve Had Breast Cancer? - Medical Manners
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- Aftermath of Surviving Breast Cancer Can Make Dating Complicated
- Lifestyle and Practical Matters
It can leave you feeling insecure, and uninterested.
When Do I Tell Someone I’m Dating That I’ve Had Breast Cancer? - Medical Manners
There were lots of questions and concerns going through my mind, like: As a woman who has experienced these emotions, and dated various partners throughout her breast cancer journey, here are five things I learned about navigating the dating jungle after breast cancer:. The more I talked about breast cancer with my dating partners, the more comfortable I felt. I know it can seem daunting — but you need to start somewhere. The most difficult time to talk about cancer will be the first time; it only gets easier. Despite the trials and tribulations that cancer has forced you to face — your cancer journey is part of you.
Without these experiences, I would not be the woman I am today. When I finally proceeded with breast reconstruction seven years after my mastectomy, I was surprised at how liberated my implants made me feel; they gave me a new sense of confidence that has really helped me in my dating life. Find what it is that gives you back that spark of confidence and inspires your self-assurance when it comes to dating.
After cancer, I developed a new sense of strength and self-empowerment, and now, I look for people that reflect these traits. My experience has taught me to know what I want out of a partner and out of a relationship. I feel more confident dating now than ever before. After cancer, I developed a new sense of strength and self-empowerment, and I now look for people that reflect that. I was terrified of a double mastectomy, mostly of the idea of someone cutting off my nipples. The day I was scheduled to meet the surgeon and discuss my surgical options, my boyfriend was supposed to come with me.
It felt like he was leaving me when I needed someone most.
Aftermath of Surviving Breast Cancer Can Make Dating Complicated
Well that was me after we broke up. I was the biggest sob story you could imagine while talking to my best friends, who tried to calm me down, but how would they even know? They were still hot, and I was going to look like a bald old man. How is someone supposed to start liking a sick bald person!? Even though I had family, friends and a team of doctors around me working to keep me alive, my breakup made the diagnosis feel so real and I felt completely alone.
Despite how things all went down with my ex, I should really thank him for noticing my lump in the first place. We were spooning in bed when he knocked my breast and noticed a hard lump—which you could only see if I was lying on my back braless for my boobs to fall naturally to the side.
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I thought at the time it may be a lymph node that was swollen or something. After things ended with Rob, I gave dating a shot. I got back on Bumble and set up some dates, but kept my new life updates off my profile. I felt like I could never be honest, or tell people what I actually did during the day. I used old and new photos online, as my wigs were fabulously thick and long: I felt so unwanted. The worst thing about cancer is how LONG it takes.
Lifestyle and Practical Matters
Safe, but very lonely. I was later also advised from my doctor to not consume soy, limit red meat to two servings per week, and drink no more than four drinks of alcohol per week, as these would all increase my risk of breast cancer recurrence. But online dating without drinking is tough—how do you go on a first date without a sip of wine to relax?
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- "Here's Everything I Learned Dating with Breast Cancer" - FLARE!
People speculate things, they never just drop it. When men would ask me out for a drink, I found myself wondering if I wanted to use up my precious beverage experience that week on a stranger, or if I wanted to save it for friends. I was wearing a DIY mermaid costume with a green tight skirt, gathered at the hem to resemble a fin, a seashell bra, and to top it off, a very long, pastel pink wig—a fun escape from the brown wig I was wearing full-time.
While my friend was getting ready for the party, I chatted with her hot roommate, Ryan. I had just met him a few weeks before, and my friend had tipped me off that my feelings of attraction were mutual. Ryan and I ended up making out, which led us to the bedroom. I managed to keep my secret safe, until I woke up in the middle of the night sweating my face off.
I literally slept with no blanket, no sheets, trying to let the air cool me. In the morning while we were making breakfast, Ryan had noticed the blue medical thermos bag that contained all of my post-chemotherapy shots to boost my immunity in the fridge. Later that week, I ended up telling Ryan that I was going through chemotherapy and that the shots were to help rebuild my immune system so they could hit me every two weeks with a fresh bag of chemo.
He was shocked, but still wanted to see me. On my first official date with Ryan, he drove three hours from Edmonton to Calgary to take me on a three-part date.
He picked me up at my house and we went downtown to a Christmas craft show, sushi, and then a theatre play. He went all out. I procrastinated until literally the last second before bed, as there was no way in hell I was sleeping with that thing on again. So, the words that came out of my mouth were: Having sex without any body hair is just plain weird.