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- 12 Online Dating “Experiences” — (The Good & The Bad)
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- Good Online Dating Experiences (#1-5)
- 12 Good & Bad Online Dating Experiences
Mostly, they were just guys saying hi. A few were a little more forward, and two were straight-up aggressive. I joined February 4th, around 7 AM, and received a total of one vote, two winks, and six messages. The messages were all nice, although one user messaged me three times. PlentyofFish is perhaps the most popular online dating sites out there, with an estimated 6 million pageviews a month and 76 million users a little less than the entire population of Turkey. In total, I received 34 messages, all of which were very nice.
I never replied to any of the messages, however there were a few men who messaged me twice despite that, in an attempt to get a response. I spoke to a few friends about their experiences with online dating websites. Another simply sent me this screenshot. Others in the past have conducted similar experiments, setting up fake accounts on free dating websites and recording the messages they received.
He came away with the realization that women have it much, much harder on these sites:. I figured I would get some weird messages here and there, but what I got was an onslaught of people who were, within minutes of saying hello, saying things that made me as a dude who spends most of his time on 4chan uneasy. A lot of people, including me, turned to online dating, and OkCupid was all the rage. As I was serious about finding someone, I uploaded a lot of pictures of myself, had a very thorough profile, and received a lot of attention. A lot of it was like the above.
Eventually, it got to be too much and I closed my profile. First off, telling a woman about what you would like to do to her sexually without any prompting is not a compliment. Neither is asking for, or offering to send, nudes unless they were not discussed first. No one likes unwanted sexual advances. Are you that guy on Tinder?
Read More and send this as your first message to a woman. If you see a picture of a woman you like, take the time to read her profile. When messaging a woman without bothering to learn about her through her profile, it may come across as you not caring about her as a person — no one wants that. Make your intentions known. Finally, take no for an answer.
Try to get to know someone before meeting them. Watch for any red flags, such as disregarding your boundaries and not respecting your feelings. When going to meet someone in person, it helps to suggest you both bring along a friend. Also, be sure to meet in a public place and to stay in a public place. Casual Kiss is full of scammers, so that is a website I suggest avoiding. OkCupid is renowned for having a wide variety of users, although I received more messages and views on PlentyofFish.
However, the problem with a lot of free dating websites such as these is that many of the users, the male users especially, are looking for sex. Have you had any bad experiences with online dating? What about good experiences? Leave me a comment below and tell me about it! Online Dating , Web of Romance. Your email address will not be published.
I try to help gullible and naive women by chatting for long periods with guys I know are scammers. I know all the signs. If they are chatting with me , they are not stealing from someone else. He asked for my address. He sent me messages that were rote. Then he said he was going to phone me and I freaked out and told him in a nasty way Karma was going to get him for scamming. I lied and told him I was also married.
I told him to get a real job. Next day I received a death threat with very graphic murder scenes of women. He said this was going to happen to me. What do I do now? I thought I had blocked him on whatsapp but I missed that one. Do I ignore this or go to the local police?
Match was, by far, my worst scammer experience. Multiple scammers, account hacked and Match renewed membership before the expiration date. OKCupid was ok but nothing came of it. OurTime has so far been fun, communicating with a few men now. If online dating is your choice, research tell tale signs scammers use, i. Reverse image search their photos, I have good success with Tineye.
Reverse search phone numbers, emails they give you. Never give personal info. Be wary, be smart, don't be foolish. They do not love you after one day of communicating. I don't know but after 24 years of marriage and now divorced 5 years it is tough out there! I am 54 year old man and know what I want? It is tough for both men and women. I believe being honest from both persons standpoint is extremely important. Then the pictures and profile. We all have our own expectations then meeting up that is can be awkward or a blessing. Be safe and good luck. If you know why you ended up divorced then work on fixing that problem if you can and go from there!
You can just stay single too! My biggest complaint is not the men, they are people - some are nice, some are not. I just don't respond to rude people.source
12 Online Dating “Experiences” — (The Good & The Bad)
But the companies are the worst, I cancel my profile - they still leave it up so guys can write me, even though I don't check it anymore. And canceling is horrible- they try to convince you to stay, or even say they will stop billing, but still charge you. They are padding their numbers and people wonder why people don't answer - sometimes they aren't members anymore - it's the site that won't take them down. And I would like to start a site where you can see messages without paying so you can see if you want to respond.
And what is up with requiring people to sign up for months? That is unnecessary and exploitive. I cannot describe how much I hate the companies that own these sites - I really would like to start my own. That is very interesting, Valerie. I was previously unaware of all of that. I am currently a member of OKCupid. I was wondering why I don't even receive a message back from a lot of the women. You are correct, I was wondering why I try and ask or just chat with ladies I am intrigued and find attractive and the noice is deafening: Not all guys are bad apples but I can understand why they should be wary.
I was married for 24 years; never abused her. Women these days are becoming faker than fake, nothing is real on them anymore. Their only primary goal in their life is to look pretty.
Then it's all connected, you look pretty, find a man with wealth and possible good looks, or someone who has the alpha traits, and put up a family with them, in case it goes awry she can always claim material gain from him and most likely take the kid with them in case of divorce, because the system mostly favour the weaker, but is it really weaker sex? No it's privileged sex. And they primarely fake their beauty, among other things. I think we've all seen by now how a potato can look like a princess with the aid of come colors and putty.
They truly are shameless. Nothing is genuine about them. Sadly I have came to a point where I have almost zero respect for most them and their personality For this I will most likely never seen them as equals. I just woke up not long ago, from a sleep of reason, for my whole life I was brainwashed into beliveving what the media was telling us. The gentle sex, the poor sex, the defenseless sex, they need, we give. But they rarely told us how truly ruthless creatures they are beneath that woman's skin there is a cold-blooded lizard.
No offense to the cold-blooded lizards, because they are cooler than most women. Were will this lead us? I hope society is proud of what has done, because the war between sexes will most likely be the cause of our extincion! I stopped reading this when I got to the phrase "Women these days" I figured it was all downhill from there. They're a lot of great ladies out there and a lot of good men also. Just weeding through the mess of cyber dating. The thing is there is absolutely too much fakery on dating sites that goes unpunished.
I'm not even talking about the nasty scammers. No, besides some nasty users that infect and foreshadow the whole populace, I'm also talking about the greedy, repuslive technique these sites go for, to keep their customers. And even making you incredible discounts, begging you to stay, they are pathetic.
Well first of all this shit should all be free, nobody should profit from poor and lonely men and women with their souls laying on the floor in pieces, they are killing our love. We just want to find someone whom we'll click! Second, there is clearly a vision of economy and massive deceit behind this sites and their little detailed strategies on how to "steal" your money for everything you do on their site, nothing is free and they always think of new ways to deprive you of your money.
I can sense the economist's brainstorming all the way here. Third, it's literally brainwashing you, killing your love, feelings, humbleness. Fourth, avoid online dating like plague, and if you don't at least don't take it seriously, like it matters, until you meet in person, really don't do this like And fifth, we need customer protection, we need internet police, these scammers, as users and site owners just sholdn't be able to get away with this shit legally, no way. What example are we setting to others?!?
You are a whore. Let me explain, because of people like you, people, that are ignoring others that make an effort to contact you, and you, don't even have the decency to reply a thing - yeas because of people like you, good people also commit suicide. She alone is the problem with online dating. Not only can I confirm that she is vain useless trash, I can rest easy knowing she will burn painfully in hell for the issues that she has caused others in her lifetime.
I feel sorry for people like this, honestly. This article and some of the comments make feel like I'm way different than the norm. I never message women first. I don't have to. I get a lot of interest. No I'm nothing special and in fact I'm a portly 50 something with hair to the middle of my back. I get a lot of women complimenting me on my profile and chatting me up.
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My profile only states what I'm interested in, what my hobbies are and what I won't put up with. I let the women make all the moves. They offer me their number, and they ask me out. They also are the first to start talking about their romantic interests. I have plenty of dates and more. Not all of these women are barbie dolls but I don't care and they know it up front. I love the conversation and attention and so do they.
My main goal is to come across as friendly, polite and safe. If I'm so good at this then why am I still out there? Because I have pretty high expectations and I refuse to settle for less. I have started a few "relationships" only to find out that the woman I met wasn't the woman I was chatting with.
Oh they are in the same body but someone stole the woman I was chatting with and substituted a sorry replacement. Until I find Ms right I'll keep enjoying the conversation and dating. I'm a good looking 6'1" muscled, athletic, green eyed guy that has no trouble attracting women in real life. I have a good job, own a home want kids. I work third shift and travel a lot. After talking for a while I ask them out. This is excluding the offers from gay men who messaged me more often then women I'm not gay and not interested.
At this point I have sent out well thought out messages, in other words one a night for over three months on average. One was old enough to be my mother, I was probably in kindergarten when her picture was taken. I look young for my age so we didn't even look like a couple. Two were morbidly obese, I'm not looking for a super model but I'm also not looking for someone who can't climb a flight of stairs and is going to have major health issues, we lead completely different lifestyles, my profile states that I bicycled miles last summer and lists rock climbing, spelunking and kayaking as hobbies.
Yes, we may read the same novels, but I do it on top of that foot cliff I climbed. Thought this was the one, and asked her for a second date, She wanted to go home with me. I told he I really don't want to move that fast, I don't' sleep around but once we got to know each other better. She said she really couldn't' as he husband would be back from a work trip.. Um, seriously I think you might have mentioned that before accepting a date. I'm glad I didn't kiss her.
I have a yearly membership as a patron so no added cost to me but still. Because of my lifestyle I have a choice between online dating and being single, at this point I'm being single. I joined a site and received hundreds of requests within two days. I was polite and friendly to all but all I got was disgusting offers. I have tried multiple on line dating sites. I have found there is no such thing as a free dating site, If you use your credit card your asking for trouble at your bank.
Women only want your bank and your comments about sex are necessarily true.
Women have said to me let's f It seems to be the same for all sites. Whatever happened to just meeting in public and talking. When I suggest this, the response is I am not perfect and yes I like sex, and a lot of it. But this never makes for a relationship or to me, show the thanks or appreciation I want to give to a woman. I want to hear her opinions, ides and thoughts. But they just want my genital size and bank account size.
Nor as being innocent of their actions in seeking men. I have had some sick stuff from woman too. What do you think about all these sex sites and why so many?? If you are not looking to get laid don't go there. If you are there, don't be surprised at some of the responses. Take a look in your own mirror. I have tried several of the sites above. Oh its great if you are some well off good looking guy. But us Joe Smoes out there get inboxes full of girls but we can't look at them until we pay up.
The minute we do, suddenly no one talks to you. Online dating is for the well to do, smooth talkers, and the good looking. For guys who are genuine and respond to womens' profiles not just their pictures it would be nice to receive a reply such as, "Not feeling chemistry, but thanks for the message. The frustration of men comes from being earnest about responding thoughtfully and then getting no reply whatsoever. These men don't reply back nastily, but just accept that there won't be a reply. But it would be nice to get a reply either way. Some of us women do write well thought out messages and the men won't respond.
I wonder if these dating sites use algorithms to block matched users from seeing each other unless one of them pays up. And the longer you pay them, the fewer matches you get. I've read other comments from users who said as soon as they're about to cancel, they get better matches. Some of these end up being fake profiles created by the company or stolen accounts from previous users. I think we're dealing with ransom level corruption with dating apps looking to turn a profit.
On ok Cupid I once had a guy message me they wanted to dress up in a French maid costume and be my table. I kid you not. Interesting article but I do feel it's a bit one sided I just don't have a problem with that. For women it is a more pressing issue of safety. Anyway, I tried Match for a year. My view is it was a total waste of money not counting the value of learning that fact. I would say I'm a good guy but then again who wouldn't.
For what it's worth, my experience was reading over profiles and I couldn't even guess on how many I viewed. Most of those were dreadful tripe or just plain lazy. Despite that I ended up sending about attempts to start a conversation in hopes of finding more substance. Most of these were along the lines of "Hello, I see you like art museums. Do you have a favorite artist or style? I'm a fan of impressionists and really like VanGogh.
Would you care to talk a little? I deleted the income and everything but the Match solicitations ended. I ended with a shorter summary and no income.
Good Online Dating Experiences (#1-5)
In the end I had 4 actual responses, about 15 read notifications without response and at least 2 solicitations from Match a day. Not a good percentage to be sure. Maybe I'm just a horrible guy but if not then I have a theory about what is going on. I'm thinking when Match started having the men pay so the women can read that the number of women with paid accounts dropped. Interesting to me that salary was a bigger driver than summary.
I guess some women are just looking for a paycheck, I just didn't realize how many on Match were. Unfortunately I was trying to find a friend and partner in life. Maybe I will someday. Hopefully my experience will help other descent guys thinking of Match. Unfortunately I still am on Match. As my subscription ended I actually found someone that was talking to me.
I didn't figure it was serious but we were talking and I liked that. I tried to send alternate means of keeping the conversation going with no luck. After the subscription ended I got several notifications of messages and finally decided it was worth the cash just to keep the pen pal. On renewing my account about 3 days I messaged her and she responded that I should renew so we could keep talking.
When I told her I already had the conversation ended and she blocked me. My suspicion is that was some form of customer retention activity but maybe I am just paranoid. At this point I have stopped messaging women. I update my profile summary periodically and wait to see if anyone has interest in me so I feel I am not aggressively seeking anything. So far nothing and I don't expect there will be any until the subscription gets close to expiring. Hopefully I finally learned my lesson on that. I love the idea of finding someone that way but it is a fairy tale from what I have seen.
Hopefully it's a fairy tale someone else gets to live. I like that idea. It's how it's been done since the dawn of man and still being done today. If you feel a computer and "profile" is some kind of required to find a truly loving relationship wishing you all the best with that attitude.
12 Good & Bad Online Dating Experiences
I'm not saying you don't want to set yourself up, or go out to places where you could be noticed or approached. But it also happens when your not "desperately" chasing it either like people are online. Another reason I don't favor online dating is it sets most up with this "let me look for grass that might be greener on the side" type mentality. Strong relationships are built strong, seasoned and nurtured with time and care -- there is no grass is greener on the other side. Hannah, that's exactly the type of mentality that is ruining most of relationships.
You gave it a perfect name. Yes, indeed most people are not willing to sacrifice or compromise anything for a good relationship nowadays, and always going on with that "the grass may be greener on the other side" type of mentality. Not leaning towards the troubles women go through with online dating Yes, women must be on their guard No bad women of course. I've had some success with some wonderful ladies, some are not so nice. Either a guy gets a reply from a gal he's attracted to or "cricket" If she is attractive she has the pick of the bunch.
It's a crap shoot. Not all guys are bad unfortunately bad apples can ruin many. One was a sex act, one a pic of his bowel movement. I blocked him after the texts wouldn't stop. Women please please b careful - have the long talks letting them talk more - they will tell u all u need without knowing. I never spoke about sex w this freak but he accused me of playing sex games. Terrifying that I met someone straight out a serial killer movie or criminal minds.
I hope he gets locked up. Mind u this man "seemed " normal until I stopped talking to him. I was sent 2 messages by a disappointed man in his late 60's. The messages were abusive, and scared the hell out of me!! I am no longer interested in online dating sites. Men have unrealistic expectations for women my age. And most look like serial killers. They need to learn how to take more flattering pics of themselves. I also encountered at least 6 fraudulent male profiles. Thank you for saying this. Men need to take better care of themselves and not leave it up to the women.
I think this speaks of a generation of men who are used to having their mothers wait on them hand and foot. It was like that growing up and that is the reason I'm not interested in men in their 60s. I find that men don't even look at your profile. I have alot of specifics and they still message me. I even state that I want my race,no hook up, want long term. What I'm intrested in. Yet they always ask what do you like to do.
I want to know if I have any recourse or anyone to report it to. That left me devastated. He gave me he bank account and I head the large balance he has. I looked it up online. Its a real bank. Can you take a telebanking line? Not all guys are arrogant, self absorbed jerks wanting one night stands. So, it seems all men are thrown into the same mix of dirtbags. I've dated a lot of ladies and yes I have my standards. Who wants to settle. The gals I've dated were attractive and my ex wife was good looking. The head games played by women, empty profile or blatant ignores makes online dating a serious crapshoot.
Yeah while I have some sympathy for the douches you guys have met I still feel the need to say cry me an ocean to this article. I stopped reading at the point she said she had messages and didn't reply to any of them. Yep think about that for a second and welcome to the other side of the dating game! You know how happy I or most guys would be to have so much attention from girls on dating sites lol? Tell you what why don't you just try it from the mens side.
Get a decent picture of one of your guy friends, go and read some profiles of girls you see on there, what little they put down outside of I like friends family and traveling. Now try to send them a message about something you have in common. Then just keep a tally of every time you do that and repeat the process about times. Why times you say well because I can almost guarantee you no matter what I say she isn't going to respond. Hell I'm kind of wondering why I'm not asking women for naked pics right up front at least they get responses it would seem! Met all on Plenty of Fish: Man who dated 3 years refused to commit, I broke up.
Man who dated 6 months refused to commit, I broke up. Man who dated 3 times wanted casual sex only, he refused to spend money on dates, I stopped meeting him. Man who pressured me to move in after dating 6 weeks, couldnt get through first dissagreement , I moved out. I have met so many men online who are only interested in you until they win you over then they reject you. Or only interested in putting you in the spot to service them sexualy while they scout around for something better, thats ridiculous.
He claimed he didnt want to attend church with me as he didnt want anyone to think he is married. One agressive guy followed me out to my car once, very scarry. New flash, women dont want to sleep with strange men they just met. You dont have sex with a stranger then try to wrap a relationship around it, you create a relationahip them top it off with sex. While I agree a healthy sex life is an important part of a relationship I was shocked at the suggestion. Most guys who just want a hook up will say so but he tried insisting he really wanted a relationship, we just had to pass the good sex test first.
Then there are the guys who say they they want to meet and "just cuddle" at your place or theirs on the first date. And can't understand why there is a list of problems with this. You want to do more than just cuddle, so just say that in your profile rather than wasting a girls time.
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And I'm never ever going to have someone come to my place or go to their place for a first date. I've been currently using dating sites again and right now its a living hell for me. I agree with the guy below that being alone for the past decade for me has been quite maddening. I'm a 39 year old male that lives alone in a 2 bedroom apartment, and I've never had kids. Getting severe bouts of depression every once in while and some very emotionally crushing anguish about what could have been.
And the worst part is It lasted almost 4 years and was very serious that we wanted to get married. Something just clicked once we got to know each other better. And unfortunately we ended up mutually agreeing to break up due to some extremely horrible external pressure and didn't want to see each other suffer.
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Nobody cheated, nobody hated the other, and it wasn't an issue with our families. Thank you economic "recession". She even wanted to find a job to keep us afloat, but due to our situation it wouldn't have been good for her being a foreign national not legally registered to work. She recently got in touch with me again after 10 years to catch up and see how I was doing.
If it weren't for the fact that her life has advanced much more than mine, it would have been no trouble for us to get back together. I'm not getting anywhere involved with her again except on a friendship basis. Her husband is providing her with the life I wanted to, and she has the family life that we could have had. And I refuse to be involved romantically at all. The time has passed, and the clock cannot be turned back. It's been hard as hell trying to find that kind of loving and understanding relationship again.
I'm not expecting the same exact thing as what I had My recent experiences on the dating website I use has been pretty pathetic. I received one direct response from what appears to have been a scammer, as their profile has been removed within a day of being put up. I've only gotten 2 smiles one from the scammer. The one reply I received from a woman I wrote, apparently she was looking for sexual relationship only. Maybe some girls would feel flattered by the attention, but I felt uncomfortable.
Mostly, it went over well. Then one guy took exception to my rejection. He asked why, and I pointed out that we had nothing in common. He argued, flattered, and begged in a barrage of messages that barely paused for my responses. Naive single girl that I was, I said sure. Sometimes people make some weird propositions on dating websites. One single woman was on OkCupid when her online crush suggested cam sex. She was open to the idea and asked what that would entail.
On most days, online dating is good flirtatious fun, but on some days it makes you feel like taking a week-long shower. Then he asked her on a date. She was curious, so she met him at an upscale Japanese restaurant in TriBeCa. She refused his offer to buy her a cup as well. One bi woman had a bad experience on Tinder when she met a vegan named Alex for drinks. He brought up her sexuality, and she expected him to make a joke about a threesome, but what he actually said was much worse.
Instead of explaining about incest laws and unpacking that bizarre string of statements, the Tinder single decided to leave Alex to finish his vodka alone. It seemed like a straightforward 3 a. He said he was out of there within five minutes, but he took a souvenir with him. He got herpes from his one-night stand. She met a guy who seemed to say all the right things.
Things between them soon became serious. Over the next few months, she enrolled in law school while he took a gap year to study for the LSAT and save up his money. Do not post your age, and if you live in a smaller town or city, say you live in the closest big city to you. My stalker situation wasn't as extreme as some, but it irked me enough to get a lawyer which I'm glad I did. It got to the point where any message at all would just annoy me. Most were complimenting my appearance and asking for sex.
A few dates resulted in attempted rape, a 'stage-5 clinger,' and a bunch of insecure guys who ended up telling me I was a 'teasing whore' when I didn't feel a connection. It's worse than being at a bar with the unsolicited dick pictures and sexually charged introductions -- 'You look like you take it up the ass. They are able to hide behind gadgets and feel that they can be completely disrespectful. Also, when you tell men you aren't interested, they respond with, 'Whatever, bitch, you're ugly anyway. My friend is a fitness instructor, she was dating someone within a week.
I have yet to get a date after trying four options. Guys would chat with me, then disappear, never to ask me out. I even tried starting conversations. I finally had a date set up after my sister secretly signed me up and landed him, and he didn't show. It's too artificial -- you're judging solely on looks.
We spoke for a while, but something did not feel right as I was talking to him. I got the idea to try and figure out how to reverse image through Google, dropped his picture in and bam -- the pictures were linked to an Instagram account in England of a semi-famous personal trainer.