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One is hard enough to take care of anyway without the prospect of things not working out and having to take care of two. I've got so much baggage that if someone actually manages to accept me for who I am, a kid wouldn't be enough for me not to date her. If I can actually be a part of a kids upbringing without having to put my genes into the mix wouldn't be so horrible.
The answer would have to be "no", sorry. Sadly, men like myself are ridiculed for having preferences, but we don't really see women ridiculed for their preferences which leaves men like myself dateless virgins - and stigmatised by the very same people for being left with this plight. I was keen on the idea of children in my 20's - as that's when near enough all my former friends had them.
I'm now 32 and would be classed as an older father. I'm no longer interested in children and don't want to raise someone else's child or children. That's the problem of the parents. It shouldn't be passed onto the innocent man who has had nothing to do with it, but always demonised for preferring not to. As far as I'm concerned these days, they had the chance to date more sensible men but as we always see, the arrogant, egotistical man deemed to be 'confident' is always the one who's carefully selected when it comes to having literally all the 'slices of the cake' when both men and women are in their sexual prime and at their best.
I'd be happy to point them back in the direction of these men they loved and expected us to 'act' like to stand I'd also remind them that I've had to sit back, be ignored and stigmatised for 16 years and counting since I passed the age of legal concent. All those years of pain needs to be acknowledged and addressed first. As a man who's never been remotely close to a relationship, I've had to sit back and watch others enjoy a 'decade of fun' before they settle down.
I would expect the same treatment before even questioned about wanting children. Why should I be treated any differently? Again, I've had to miss out on all these years of fun. Is that fair on me to go from a virgin to a father in the click of my fingers? They've had their 'decade of fun' sometimes more. I'm only wanting mine.
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I've accepted my status as a lifelong single man once I turned If I was to ever get in a relationship, it wouldn't be with a single mother and if she didn't have children, the issue of me having to miss out for all these years needs to be sensibly discussed, accepted and acknowledged in some way first. Where do you live where 32 is considered an "older father"? The only ones with kids have them because they fucked up or finished school early. Everyone else is just graduating from university. But 32 is still pretty young for a dad.
I'd say you're about average for a dad age until 40, actually. The average age is certainly on the increase and I do accept that. I don't think I've explained myself as well as I could have done in my last post, sorry I'm the 'last' of my former friends to remain without a child Barring one other exception who isn't a dateless virgin like myself , I'm the joint-last to not be married Seven years in about five weeks, actually! Most people say there's no race in life and I respect that. However, if there wasn't a race, then why are those who are left behind regularly treated as if they're three inches tall?
Why probe them as to why they haven't done what they have? It's surprising how often this happens to me at least. They don't seem to consider that some people simply have absolutely no luck at all. Social expectations and standards need to be dropped. If you're married or have children - it should be considered as options, rather than deemed to be 'mandatory' as it does at the moment and those who don't fall in line, are very much looked at strangely.
Lets just say I was to meet someone and had a child when I was I'd be into my late fifties before they finished school. I'd likely be close to pensionable age before they moved out on their own! Sorry, but I don't want that happening and without having had my 'decade of fun' which seems to be pretty much a given these days - that's the age I'd be looking my early 40's before considering children.
Again, I would want the same treatment as what other men had in their 20's before being asked the question over children. I've had to miss out on 16 years and counting, so far Sorry, but I don't want that happening and without having had my 'decade of fun' which seems to be pretty much a given these days. So are you expecting to meet a woman, tell her you want to sleep around for a decade, and then you'll settle down with her, and her to be okay with this?
When I say a 'decade' I'm not going to be insisting on that. That was more of a generalisation as to how a lot of women go before they're willing to have children. Understandably - they want fun first. All I'm asking is for is the same privilege. It might be six years, eight years I might be 32, but I've not had that 'pleasurable decade' that I'd also like before having children. I was ignored in my late teens and all my 20's away from this.
I would want a long period of time with her, just as a couple, doing typical 'couple' things If they were allowed to do this and hold the 'high morale ground' for some odd reason over this who simply can't get anywhere which is utterly wrong , then the same rule should also apply to me. If it was okay for her to have, for example, eight previous partners, then why can't I?
Why do I have to sacrifice this perk? Sadly, we live in an era where it seems the more beds you've slept in, the more highly you're thought of If that isn't the case, then surely I shouldn't be frowned upon to not prefer to have a girlfriend who has 'high mileage' as such Thank you for the detailed explanation. That was very helpful in seeing your perspective on it. That being said, this:. I do think is unreasonable. It's not a competition, and no one really cares how many people you've slept with.
Which brings me to:. The only place that you're more highly thought of the more beds you've slept in is sitcoms, raunchy comedy movies, and probably some frats. No one else cares. No one is keeping score. On my first point, I appreciate her biological time clock but again, whilst she has had the privilege of fun for several years before hand, I'm not willing to sacrifice my own. I suspect this will cost me the relationship but it's not my fault I've gone 16 years and counting of being completely ignored by women.
It takes two to tango. If I'm willing to tango and ladies aren't with me - sorry, but I don't see why I should have to suffer this way when very few have had to be stuck in the plight I am. This really does need to be accepted and rectified. Another, shorter way of putting it to her is "Yes, you want children. However, you've had a decade of fun before hand. All I want are the same privileges you have given to your other partner s ". On the second point - no, it isn't a competition or rather, it shouldn't be. The reason why I feel it's a competition is because of the way lifelong single men like myself are very much ridiculed and unfairly stigmatised.wcs2015.org/came-kaufen-chloroquin-500mg.php
Whisper users reveal why they never date single mothers | Daily Mail Online
Women generally don't sleep with virgin men above a certain age. They tend to gravitate towards those who have lots of previous baggage. My former crush for instance - completely ghosts me despite two years of effort but by her own confession - eventually beds a divorced man with three children on the second date! For some reason, men who can't get anywhere are deemed to be 'problems' whereas those who have been unfaithful or bad with relationships are towards the top of their lists. Therefore I do consider romance to be a bit like freemasonry. If you aren't allowed access to the 'lodge' by a certain age, you're basically locked out forever more.
This is regardless of how much hammering you do on the door i. So, only those within the 'lodge' get more slices of the cake. If this wasn't the case this is just the best analogy I can come up with , then why don't we see virgin men being at the top of ladies list's to date? I know my second point sounds harsh. What I was trying to say is that if she's had eight partners before me random number - it could be anything Why must I, again, miss out? I accept that being a virgin at my age the writing is on the wall and the chances of this happening is practically zero - but in theory if I'm having to accept women who have had multiple previous partners - then surely it's only fair if they accept me having slept around in quick succession with several women?!
I hope that explains things a bit more. I'm always willing to discuss this sort of subject as I do actually blog about these things! I do agree that would be moving fast. With pretty much any couple I think it's best for them to have a few years as a couple before adding kids into the mix.
Probably even more important when at least one of the partners doesn't have any relationship experience. However, you lose me here.
She didn't ignore you for 16 years, but you're holding her and her reproductive future hostage. You're holding her responsible for your failings with women and asking for sexual reparations. This is not a healthy attitude. In that framing, I would expect you would lose the relationship. I'm going to speak in generalities here, because everyone is attracted to different things, but women and men tend to gravitate to what's familiar to them. If she grew up with an abusive dad, she's probably going to be drawn to abusive guys.
If she grew up with extroverted, outgoing brothers, she'll probably want an extroverted, outgoing guy. If her first boyfriends were unfaithful, she might be drawn to unfaithful guys. Fucked up, but that's the way the brain works. I won't lie here, it is a red flag to get to a certain point in time and not have had any relationships. It starts you off behind the 8-ball because the other person will immediately wonder why that is and start to look for what's wrong.
The virginity angle I think is a non-factor, to be honest, unless you're just looking for a one night stand or a casual hookup. I can even guarantee there's even a segment of women who would love to take charge of an inexperienced guy and teach him what they want. Women aren't looking for virgins on Tinder or for casual sex, because virgins are going to be bad at sex for a while. In a real relationship, it's going to be a much lower hurdle to get over, if it comes up at all. But as I said above, the lack of relationships can throw up red flags. Life doesn't work that way.
Again, it's not a competition. This part of the sexual aspect of relationships is more about being okay with and accepting your partners past. It's not about who slept with how many people. Not to mention and I'm sorry if I come off as an ass here, but I've been trying to think of the best way to say this throughout this message if you can sleep with 2 or 4 or 8 women or whatever will make you feel "equal", why not do that now?
What's going to change after you meet this hypothetical woman that will allow this to happen? I know there are some couples out there who have been very quick in getting together and then announcing a child is on the way. The current record I know of, from an old friend of mine, was about eight months from saying he was together with someone to a pregnancy announcement I think it was just short of this, if memory serves me correctly.
Not only that, these issues have made me incredibly anxious and I do have Social Anxiety. I have dealt with these issues the best I possibly can. I have faced plenty of fears over the last few years. I simply cannot win. Their stigmas against me is what they hold in their minds — not me!
I fail to see why men like myself are somehow to blame for their choices. What will it take to break this unfair cycle that virgin men face? This is the question that needs to be asked…. If I could sleep with various women now — I would. This is why I refer to romance as a form of freemasonry.
This is pretty much why I gave up. I want the same experiences of having 'the best' in life as a young man, but I'm not a young man anymore, and not many young ladies are looking for older men without much value, so basically, time to find a hobby I guess. There is nothing 'manly' about coming in and being the financial support for another man's child. I've dated a couple. That's all you find other than morbidly obese women around my age, around here.
The first one seemed nice. She was funny but she had these strange obsessions with stuff that made it difficult to talk to her over time.
She neglected her child. She was a vegan and didn't feed her child properly. She refused to discipline him so going out in public was almost always a disaster if the kid was around. She couldn't leave the house hardly. The kid would spit in her face and hit her all the time. She finally dumped me when I asked her if she was OK with his behavior.
Our relationship lasted 11 days. Also she kept begging me to move in with them from about the 4th day. The second girl wouldn't let me see the kid. Turns out she didn't have custody of the kid. We went on 3 dates before I gave up on it. She got weirder and weirder the more I got to know her.
I just didn't feel comfortable around her. I definitely would, I think. I'm at an age where I can't really turn someone down just because they are a single mother. My standards would be higher though. They also must be willing to have another kid with me. I can't say I wouldn't because I would I am that desperate just being honest. That said I would set some ground rules going into it about my interaction with kids and how that might progress over time. I see this sentiment a lot on this sub, and it's revealing about the way that many FAs view others as objects and possessions, not as people.
If you are raising a child, that child is NOT "another man's child.
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That kid didn't ask for this. Imagine how shitty that has to be from the kid's point of view? Your mom starts dating a new guy and he instantly hates you and makes disgusted faces when you're around. Just because you're taking some of your mom's attention away from him. Heck, I'd expect him to start beating me for no reason just because I'm "not his kid.
That's literally what happens sometimes. Single mothers are too much hassle, according to this single man. This man said he didn't want to deal with a single mother's disrespectful children. A single dad said he doesn't want to date single mothers because of their children.
This man says she misses his ex's son after seeing him every day for two years. This man won't date a single mum unless she puts her children before him. This man doesn't want a girlfriend who has very young children, only teenagers. This man says he can't take care of himself let alone someone else's child. Admitting he's not ready to be a father, this man won't date single mothers yet. This man didn't want to get attached to a girlfriend's kids in case they were to break up.
In a brutally honest confession this man said he didn't want to raise someone else's children. Stay out of it! Despite being a single parent himself this man didn't want a mother to get involved with his daughter. Doing it his way! This man wanted to have children of his own and not raise someone else's. This man didn't want to get involved with a single mum because of her baby's real father being in the picture.
Not a big spender! This man didn't wan to spend lots of money raising someone else's child. The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline. Bachelors reveal why they NEVER date single mothers in shocking confessions Men have confessed why they won't date single mothers on the Whisper app One compared lone parents to prostitutes claiming they're too expensive to date Another said they don't want to spend money raising someone else's child By Molly Rose Pike For Mailonline Published: Share this article Share.
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